Kiss Me Goodbye
by Kanna37
Summary: "I wanted to protect her forever."  Those words, spoken unthinkingly by Inuyasha, almost cost him everything when Kagome took them to heart - in a way he hadn't meant. Tied 1st Best Angst Feudal Association 1st Quarter 2011.  Best Feudal Fairytale Eternal Legends for 2011.
1. Chapter 1

**Kiss Me Goodbye**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

A/N: This story follows along with most of the events of the final season of Inuyasha – but there are several points of divergence. It addresses some of my feelings about the anime, not the manga – the opening sentence in this story wasn't made in the manga, only in the anime. Still, I always felt a little let down about the lack of real resolution of the triangle between Kikyou, Kagome, and Inuyasha. There was just some things that happened, in the anime especially, that I felt were a slap to Kagome's face... and I wanted to explore a slightly alternate way that things might have happened, due to that. I just think there was a lot of angst there that should have been explored - on Kagome's part.

Hopefully, people will see what I'm talking about as this takes shape. It will not be a long story, probably no more than two chapters, around 16-17 thousand words, but maybe those two chapters will entertain. Though, there is a possibility that it might go to a third chapter... who knows.

However, this one I am not going to rush. It will come as it comes, and as the plot is going to be somewhat involved, especially later, it's going to take more thought. Please understand and have patience with that – this story is proving dear to me, and I will not compromise it just to post fast.

Amber

**Chapter 1**

"_I wanted to protect her forever."_

Kagome could _feel_ the pain and longing in the words that Inuyasha uttered that kept echoing through her mind, still – even weeks later. Kikyou had finally died, once again, at Naraku's hands, and though the hanyou was the most grief-stricken... he wasn't the only one who was hurting.

But that didn't really matter anymore, because despite the fact that Kikyou's death had hurt her badly in a different way, the truth was that the pain caused by his pain was even worse. The whole thing had made her susceptible to Kaou, and if she wasn't able to find a way to deal with it soon, it could very well taint her heart and render her unable to purify the Shikon no Tama.

That was a thought that terrified her. Since her only real use to anyone on this side of the well was her ability to find the shards, which was no longer needed, as all shards were accounted for, and her ability to purify them, she was afraid to lose her last reason for being here. She only had one purpose left in this era, and if she couldn't fulfill even that responsibility, then she would be of no value to her friends whatsoever anymore.

Plus, she'd promised Kikyou that she'd finish what Kikyou herself had been unable to, and she wouldn't leave this world without fulfilling that promise.

There was simply no room for failure.

Downcast, thoughts going in pointless circles in her mind, Kagome continued to trudge along behind the rest of the group, not really paying any attention to her surroundings as the rest of the group also seemed lost in their reflections. This day's travel had truly been made mostly on autopilot – and that was especially notable in their hanyou leader.

With a pained and saddened inward sigh, Kagome glanced at him, then, wincing at his far-away stare, she scrunched up her face and looked away, not wanting anyone to catch her looking at him. She needed to distance herself from him – it was the only way to keep her heart intact at this point. The moment that she had heard those words from him, all her dreams had come crashing down, and she had realized that Inuyasha wasn't hers... and never would be.

He had wanted to protect, _and be with_, Kikyou – forever. That pretty much said it all... after all, if he'd had the opportunity to keep Kikyou at his side,_ forever_, she, _Kagome_, would never have been born.

Couldn't be much more blunt than that, really... while he might care about her as a friend, he would rather have Kikyou with him. And as much as it hurt, she could understand.

That didn't mean that it wasn't killing her, but even so, with all her heart, she wished she could find a way to take away his hurt. A way to give him his wish... _his wish_...

She didn't notice that she'd stopped in the middle of the road as her eyes widened, and she became completely concentrated on the idea that had just occurred to her, nor did she realize that she'd paled dramatically, surprising her companions into stopping, as well, as they turned concerned gazes on her.

_Wish... it's Inuyasha's wish to have Kikyou with him forever. And that's what the Shikon is for – wishing. _Her brow furrowed in fierce concentration. _But... it's supposed to be the right wish. If it isn't, then the tama won't disappear. And I can bet bringing Kikyou back to life isn't exactly the right wish. Then there's the whole thing about the stupid jewel not actually granting your true wish. It gives you a corrupted version of it, but that's not what I want._

She huffed in irritation, then, and absently started walking again, still not noticing that she'd been at a standstill, or that her friends were all staring at her with confused expressions.

_But if I could find a way... I could at least do something for him, to make him happy. _Sadness permeated her scent again, at that thought, and she clenched her eyes closed for a moment, to keep the tears in at the knowledge that no matter what, his happiness was going to cost her her own – and probably her very life. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make, though... if she could find a way to do so, and with that knowledge firmly planted in her mind, she squared her shoulders and firmed her determination.

_After all, I always want Inuyasha to be happy – and maybe that's why I was born. Maybe I was what the kami needed to fix everything so he could be happy. In that case... I'm a tool, and was never meant to be with him, anyway. In some strange way, I'm like the tama – I'm here to make sure he gets his wish, and it's here to grant his wish. If I can figure out how..._

Her face crumpled then, the pain hitting all at once, even as some part of herself tried to find the comfort in knowing he would be happy, if she could just find a way to pull it off. The thought that she would be the one to enable him to finally _be_ happy was suddenly her only comfort... and she clung to it like a frightened child, even as her awareness returned to the outside world, and she valiantly held back her tears, not wanting to disturb the others' ruminations.

She flinched when Inuyasha's voice popped up from right next to her, not having realized that he'd moved up to walk with her. "Oi," he asked softly, "what's wrong, wench?" With a sharp glance at her when she didn't answer right away, he finished with, "Don't try to tell me nothing, either. You're scent's been all over the place today, and I know all too well what that means."

Studiously refusing to really look at him, she shook her head. "Just thinking about some of the things that have happened lately," she said, trying to pass it off casually. "That's all. Besides... why are you asking me that, when _everyone's_ been preoccupied today, even Shippo?"

Highly bothered that she was refusing to look at him, he growled under his breath. "Keh! Because the rest of us might have been thinkin' 'bout stuff, but weren't none of _us_ cryin'!"

She looked startled at that. "I wasn't!"

He reached out a clawed finger and gently swiped it across her cheek, then presented the now damp appendage for her inspection. "Oh, _really?_" he asked, voice full of irony. "Then what do ya call this? Rain?"

She frowned at him, then reached her own hand up and wiped her cheek before pulling the hand back to stare at it, completely surprised to see and feel the wet there. "I-" she shook her head in denial, "-didn't realize... but, it's nothing. Just forget it. I guess I'm just tired."

"Nope... not buyin' it, wench," he growled. "Dammit, Kagome, I can't protect you if you hide stuff that's bothering you, or haven't you figured that out yet? Feh – Kikyou did the same thing, and look what it got her," he said, suddenly angry.

He caught the almost violent flinch at that, and the fact that she'd completely turned her face away, staring at the ground like it'd disappear if she looked away for even a second, sent Inuyasha's instincts screaming that something was definitely wrong. Normally, the little miko didn't hide _anything - _from him, at least.

Of course_,_ he thought, with sarcasm directed solely at himself, it hadn't been too bright to bring up Kikyou, as he could smell Kagome's scent go completely cold, and her aura as well. _Well, fuck – I just had to go stick my whole fuckin' __leg__ in my mouth this time – hell, if I keep this up, I might end up __swallowing__ the damn thing._

He tried to salvage the conversation from the huge pit that was his own big mouth. "Why are you all of a sudden trying to hide shit from me, wench? That's not like you, and I don't like it. Tell me what's wrong," he insisted. He scowled when he looked over at her, only to find her ignoring his attempts to get through to her.

_What the hell is wrong with her? I..._guilt flooded through him at his remembrance of what had happened with Kaou.

"_This girl's soul has a magnificent flavor! She's even more wounded than you... and the cause of her pain is-"_

_Keh. Kagome managed to cut him off there, but I was a stubborn, blind fool not to notice that Kikyou's death had hurt her, too. She wanted to save her, but couldn't, and I know that really bothers her. She always takes everything on herself – but she can't save the world, any more than one person can. Kikyou's death wasn't her fault..._

He wondered if that was what was wrong with her now. Knowing her, it probably was.

"Kagome..." he sighed, "you know Kikyou's death wasn't your fault, don't you?"

He didn't miss the way she stiffened, nor the scent of anguish, anger, sadness, and guilt that suddenly flooded the air around her. She felt _unworthy_. "If I had been stronger, then she would still be here for you to protect, Inuyasha," she said quietly, but with a bitterness that was obvious. "I was too weak... just like you always said. It should have been _me_ that died that day – me being here only endangers the mission, because next to Kikyou I'm practically powerless."

She turned her face to the sky, and he noted the tight lines etched into the skin around her eyes – lines showing just how tense she really was. "But I'm all that's left, and I promised Kikyou I would see this battle through to the end. I mean to keep that promise – no matter _what_ the cost," she said with a finality that immediately had warning bells going off in his mind.

His eyes narrowed as he looked down at her. "I don't think I like the way you said that, Kagome," he said suspiciously.

She just shook her head wearily. "What will be, will be, Inuyasha, and there's nothing you can do about it. So don't worry about it anymore, okay?" she asked, still not looking at him.

_Keh! Now I really don't like what she's sayin'. She looks like she's ready to give up... maybe we've been pushing too hard. Hell, so much has happened in the last few weeks, and we haven't had a moment of downtime. _

"Kagome... maybe... do you need to go home, or something? It's been a while since you were there," he offered, not liking the look of her, and hoping to take her mind off whatever it was that was bothering her – he scowled – which she still hadn't told him what it was, exactly, that was doing so. "Didn't you say your 'entrance exams' were coming up soon, anyway?"

Kagome shot him a surprised look, and nodded. "Yeah..." _not that it's going to matter if I... manage to do what it is I'm thinking of doing... _"Next week, I think. I'm kinda losing track, I'd have to look at my calender to see for sure."

He folded his arms into his sleeves, and called back over his shoulder to the other members of the group. "Oi, everyone – do any of you have any objection to heading back to Kaede's tomorrow? Kagome has to go home soon, and we should all get a little rest, too."

There were murmurs of surprise from the three walking along behind them, but nothing negative, and finally, Inuyasha nodded. "Good. Then it's settled. Tomorrow, we head back."

Kagome didn't say anything to his offer, and she could only hope he hadn't noticed, because she was in no way up for any more questioning.

_But I don't think we're gonna get back to Kaede's so easily..._

For some reason, her senses were trying to warn her.

_I just wish I knew what they were trying to warn me about. Heh... Kikyou probably would have been able to tell – but I can't even do that._

She looked up at the sky..._ Kikyou, I think you chose the wrong person to put your faith in – I don't think I can be what you need me to be. But... I'll do it – or die trying, I swear._

_I won't let even my own feelings get in the way._

-sSs-

_Dammit!_

Inuyasha swung Tessaiga again, anger, fear, and frustration egging him on even through his exhaustion. But just as every time before, the barrier around the shrine of Hitomiko would not come down, and finally, he slumped, feelings of helplessness and rage weighing him down so much that he could barely even lift his head anymore.

_I've just gotten past losing one woman I loved, and now I'm faced with losing the other? _

_Kagome..._

He desperately blinked back tears, not wanting to let them fall – he couldn't allow himself to cry, because crying meant she was gone.

He refused to believe it. He couldn't lose her...

_Fight, wench! I know you can do it – you're the only one of all of us who has come within a hairs-breadth of destroying that bastard, and that was back in the beginning! You're stronger now! Just don't give up – you have to come back to me in one piece..._

_Don't let Naraku win! Whatever scheme he's using that dead miko for, I know you can win. I know you can! Look what you did to Kaou, woman. _

"Come back to me, Kagome – you have to come back to me," he murmured, not even caring if the others heard him. They had been out here all night waiting, and morning had come again, and his patience was gone.

He knew that whatever was happening inside the shrine, Kagome was still alive and fighting at this point – or else Naraku would have already appeared to gloat about defeating her. But it didn't help – he wanted her out here with him, where he could protect her like he hadn't been able to do with Kikyou. He feared every second would be her last, and he knew that he would never be able to go through a goodbye with Kagome like he'd gone through with Kikyou.

They'd been through so much in the last few weeks since Kikyou had passed on – Kaou, fighting Kanna and her mirror, Tessaiga gaining the Meidou from Tenseiga, and he and Sesshoumaru's battle inside it, that there had been little time to talk – and clear some things up between them. There was a lot they needed to talk about, and he found himself, for the first time _ever,_ praying that Kagome would come out of that shrine alive and well – so that they_ could _have that long talk.

He was so lost in his thoughts and fears that when the barrier finally did fall, he stared at it, stunned, for a moment, before leaping up the last steps followed by the others, and onto the shrine grounds, intent on finding Kagome, _now_.

Haunted eyes met his from the wooden floor she was kneeling on, holding the released body of Hitomiko, when he and the group came flying around the corner, and he skidded to a halt before her.

"Kagome, are you okay?" he asked, almost frantically as he took in the rather wounded look in her gaze. He was worried – she appeared dazed, as though something she hadn't expected had happened.

She nodded after a moment, and looked down at the body of the priestess she'd wanted so badly to save. The only consolation in the whole thing was that, as Sango pointed out, she had the most peaceful look on her face, and Kagome knew she'd at least managed to save her from eternal torment in hell.

The moment the grateful villagers had seen them on their way, Inuyasha was demanding to know what had happened.

"Keh – I want to hear it all, Kagome. Everything that happened," he said. "Where'd you go when she pulled you into the shrine? Because for having been there all night, your scent was really faint there."

With a sigh, she looked at him for a moment, then her gaze dropped to stare at the bow she had clutched tightly in her hand. _This bow... I used it to save Hitomiko, but I couldn't save Kikyou. _

Shaking her head to clear it when Inuyasha prompted her angrily, she continued to stare at the bow. "I went to hell," she murmured, so low he almost didn't hear it. But he did, and he came to a shocked halt for a moment, his jaw dropping as he sputtered, trying to say something coherent from the mess that was his mind in that moment.

"W-what?" he whispered. "_What_ did you say?"

The entire group came to a halt at the sight of Inuyasha's shock, eyeing Kagome uncertainly as they wondered what she could possibly have said to have their normally ill-tempered hanyou leader so stunned.

Kagome finally tore her gaze from the bow, and looked up into the sky, staring into the wild blue yonder as though she could see all the answers of life there. "I said, I went to hell. It was all a trap by Naraku. He wanted me to use the bow to destroy Hitomiko, but if I had, then my heart would have been corrupted, and I wouldn't be able to purify the shikon anymore, because I'd have killed someone else just to save myself. Or, on the other hand, I could refuse to attack Hitomiko, and simply die, staying in hell forever. For Naraku, it was a win/win situation."

Sango stared at her, just as shocked as Inuyasha. "But... then how did you save her – and yourself...?"

An enigmatic smile crossed her face. "I went to hell _with_ her." She cast a glance at a suddenly shifty-eyed Inuyasha – that statement hit way too close to home... since he'd once intended to go to hell with Kikyou.

"Perhaps the correct question would be, how did you come back, Kagome?" Miroku asked.

She turned and continued walking; the rest of the group hurried then, to catch up, a silent Shippo hitching a ride on Miroku's shoulder.

"I had to remember something from when I was a kid. She set me a riddle, and I figured it out. Then I used the spiritual power in the bow, combined with mine, to create a new attack – and I destroyed the part of Naraku that was controlling her, _without_ hurting _her._" She shrugged. "She told me something, though, at the end... she said that most of my powers are sealed. That they didn't appear until the very instant that my arrow left the bow. So, something is sealing me... and I wonder if it was... Kikyou."

Inuyasha blinked, then frowned at her. "Oi, why would Kikyou do that?" he snapped defensively.

Kagome chuckled inwardly, a hollow sound in her mind. _I guess in some ways he's still protecting her, eh? _

"I don't think it was deliberate, Inuyasha," she murmured. "I think... it was her feelings in the instant that she died, the first time. Wanting to take the shikon with her so it wouldn't ever hurt anyone else, she tried to seal it, but when it was born in me again, well, I was sealed instead... That is, of course, if it was her. I can't figure out anyone else it would be, though... except Naraku, but he couldn't have done that across a gulf of five hundred years."

Inuyasha didn't know what to make of any of it. "So... wait. You're telling me that _all of this time,_ the powers that you've shown are just the smallest part of what you really have? That the rest is all sealed away?"

Kagome nodded slowly, not meeting anyone's eyes. "Yeah... that's what Hitomiko said."

Everyone of the group walking along stared at her in awed shock, almost unable to fathom such. After all, though she was untrained, her powers had always been pretty strong, and she'd even almost completely destroyed Naraku back in the beginning – with_ one_ arrow. None of the rest of them, including Inuyasha himself, had ever come so close to doing so.

_Kagome... _Inuyasha couldn't even fathom what she was saying – and the whole 'went to hell' thing was just so wrong, that he couldn't bring himself to think about it. Kagome had no business ever being in such a place. She just didn't.

After a few minutes of silent walking, Shippo popped up with, "Kagome... what was hell like?"

Inuyasha was ready to pound the little twerp for even asking such a thing and making her remember that, but Kagome spoke up instantly, answering his question, though her gaze had gone far away again. "Well, it hurt. I was burning, but not burning. It was a spiritual fire – it burned my soul. I could barely think, and there was so much torment and... pain," she said sadly. "That's what Hitomiko was feeling. Despair, and sadness, too."

"Keh!" Inuyasha waved his fist threateningly at Shippo. "That's enough with those kinda questions, you stupid little brat! Why would Kagome want to think about things like that, huh?"

Her expression became closed off, then, and she said, "It's okay, Inuyasha. He was just curious – most people would be." She flicked a quick glance his way as Shippo stuck out his tongue at the hanyou. Aren't _you_ the least bit curious?" She chuckled. "And it's so ironic – you were the one planning to go to hell with Kikyou, and yet, I'm the one that went, with someone else. Heh. The kami have a weird sense of humor, don't they?"

He scowled at her, not liking the odd mood she'd been in for the last several days. Even before Hitomiko – since that day she'd been crying absently as they walked, and not even realized she was. He was worried... this kind of mood wasn't normal for her, and he wondered what she had on her mind that was depressing her so badly.

"Oi, wench, stop talkin' like that. You've been acting weird for almost a week, now, and you _still _haven't told me what the problem is." He eyed her narrowly as she opened her mouth to speak, and cut her off. "And don't try to fob me off with bullshit about how we all have stuff on our minds! None of us are acting like you!" he growled.

She took a half-step back, coming to a halt as she watched him uncertainly. "Inuyasha, what the heck is your problem with me lately? You're always staring at me and giving me these _looks_ – like I failed you or something. Do you really blame _me_ for Kikyou dying? Is that it?" she cried, guilt lining her features sharply.

He stared at her, mouth hanging open, aghast that she would think that. "_No_! If anyone failed to protect her, it was me, again – and it's Naraku's fault she's dead, not yours! You did what she told you to do, and more than most people would have done, and I know that. So did she," he sighed, looking away. "She knew that you wanted to help her, and protect her. And so did I."

"Then _why_? Why do you keep looking at me that way?" she whispered.

Sango wanted so badly to say something, but Miroku stuck out a hand and pulled her back towards him gently. "No, Sango. This is something between just the two of them that they must work out on their own."

She bit her lip, but nodded tentatively, though she had every intention of talking to her friend the first chance she got. She had to find out what Kagome was really thinking – before something irrevocable was done.

"... worried about you! You have this look all the time now like you aren't really here – like you're going far away, and I don't like it!" was what she came back to, Inuyasha's voice desperate, afraid – and angry.

"Inu-" Kagome started to say, but once again, he interrupted.

"No! I know something's wrong, Kagome, and you should just tell me." He looked down miserably, then. "I have to protect you – I promised, remember?"

_You remember your promise to me now, though... now that Kikyou is gone. Did you forget, Inuyasha? You promised to protect me before Kikyou came back – but once she came, you forgot that, and promised her. Now, because she's... _She shook her head in sad denial..._ that's the only reason you remember. Because once she came, you only protected me when it wouldn't interfere with protecting her._

Eyes hazed by staring so hard into the past, she didn't even notice the others watching her so closely, nor Inuyasha's pained and worried expression.

_But that was the way it had to be – because I chose to stay with you after you decided you had to protect her. After that, it meant I was responsible for protecting myself..._

She sighed, and shook her head again. "When I came back through the well after you decided that your duty and your will was to protect Kikyou, I became responsible for myself. I know that you have saved me a lot, when it didn't interfere with your protection of Kikyou, and I'm grateful for that – but I've also protected you. That's just what friends do for each other." She looked up to find him staring at her, shocked. "But just because Kikyou's gone now, I won't be your burden. I won't let you take responsibility for me just because you think it's the only way you can honor your vow to protect Kikyou, since she still lives in me. I'm Kagome, not Kikyou. You can't honor your vow to her through me, Inuyasha."

With that, she turned and continued walking, leaving three astounded people, and one horrified person behind her. As she looked up over the ridge they were all coming over, she could see the village in the distance, and her pace quickened, wanting nothing more than to get there, so she could get ready to go back to her era.

_After all, Inuyasha, did you think I forgot what Kaou said? I know you probably hope that I did, but... how can I? The woman you loved most in the world... you wanted to die so you could go with her. I know I called you back, but... it wasn't so much me, as your sense of responsibility to your friends. That's why I said what I did. So that you understand that you aren't responsible for me. You're free of any of that, so that when I bring Kikyou back for you..._

_You can be together without concern._

_At least this way, though, you won't have to die to be with her._

_You can live... both of you, like it should have always been._

-sSs-

Inuyasha stared at the wooden floor of Kaede's hut as he told her of Kikyou's final moments, too sad and guilty to look her in the face as he told her of his failure to save her from her onerous fate.

"You hurt, too, Inuyasha, about this," she said sadly.

He nodded dejectedly. "For me, it was inevitable."

Kaede sighed. "Yes. But my sister is no longer in pain – her suffering is over. I can only be thankful for that."

"Yeah."

"But I wonder..." she glanced at him sideways, only to find him with his arms hidden in his sleeves, and a weary look on his face. "I think that my sister passed all her duties to Kagome. Now that Kikyou has passed on again, everything is up to Kagome. I hope that she can fulfill all of that..."

Inuyasha flinched at that. _I... yeah, I'm certain she did, too, and Kagome intends to finish this, like she __said, no matter what. I don't know what passed between her and Kikyou before I got there, and now I wish I did. Because... I don't __want__ Kagome to have those duties. They killed Kikyou... and I couldn't bear it if it happened to Kagome, too._

Kaede watched his thoughts pass across his face openly, and sighed. _So much wickedness that came from the kindness – and naivety - of my sister's heart. Some – like Onigumo – are too wicked to be safe to help. She should have given him herbs to ease his pain, and then let him pass on – before all this happened._

"Where is Kagome, Inuyasha?" she asked. "From now on, she shouldn't be left alone, because with my sister gone, Naraku's focus will be on her, since she is the only one that can now purify the jewel, she is the most dangerous to him."

He scowled at that. "She's outside washing her clothes. He's already started coming after her, though. He killed another miko, and used her to try to get to Kagome to taint her heart." His brow furrowed thoughtfully, then. "That reminds me... that other miko told Kagome that most of her power was being sealed."

Blinking in surprise, Kaede stared at him for a moment. "Sealed?"

"Yeah. Kagome thinks it was Kikyou," he said quietly.

"No, that's not possible. Kikyou wanted Kagome to finish this – she wouldn't have passed on the bow from Mt. Azusa if she hadn't. There would have been no point to her doing such a thing if she had intended to seal Kagome's powers away from her."

"Then who could have done it?" Inuyasha asked, frustrated with everything going on – and the lack of answers to all the questions.

Kaede sat back on her heels, a contemplative look crossing her elderly face. "Well, I imagine it would have been the Shikon no Tama."

It was Inuyasha's turn to stare at her in surprise. "The Shikon no Tama?" he asked, incredulously.

"Yes. In the Shikon there are two opposing spirits – Naohi, the spirit of good, and Magatsuhi, the spirit of evil. I would imagine that Magatsuhi feared Kagome's powers, and sealed them when she was born, so that she couldn't purify him."

"So... the Shikon no Tama fears Kagome, eh?" he mused thoughtfully. "Keh – it should. Kagome's scary when she's mad, and she's pretty mad at all the suffering that stupid jewel has caused."

Kaede chuckled at that – it was the truth, after all. Kagome, for such a tiny, dainty thing, had quite the temper when riled, and pretty much feared nothing. It made her a formidable opponent under those circumstances – as Naraku had found out early in the game when she'd come so close to killing him for messing with her friends.

"She is, at that. But it is that fiery spirit which will carry her through when she needs it the most, Inuyasha, you just watch and see."

The hanyou nodded, and both fell silent, losing themselves in their thoughts.

There was, after all, a _great_ deal to think about.

-sSs-

Later that afternoon, Kagome dressed herself happily back into her clothing, more than needing to get out of those miko robes. She hated wearing them... especially when Inuyasha might run into her. She didn't want to see that pained look in his eyes when he would see her in them.

It hurt that what he was seeing in that moment was Kikyou, and not Kagome.

_I will always just be a reminder of what he doesn't have anymore, _she thought sadly, before trying to push those thoughts away. Then she shook her head, frowning fiercely. _It doesn't matter, though – haven't I already decided that I was brought here to fix things for Kikyou and Inuyasha? That's what I need to concentrate on._

Just then, before her thoughts could get any more morose, she stiffened as a horrible feeling surged over her... a feeling of such complete evil that she almost choked.

_What...?_

Miroku and Sango, with Shippo hanging on, came charging through the matting before she could do more than turn to face the doorway.

"Kagome, did you feel that, too?" Miroku asked urgently, and she nodded.

"Yes. I felt a really intense evil..." _ The kind you want to stay far away from._

"I think we should go investigate, Kagome. This is surely not a good sign," he said, giving all of them speaking glances.

"I think we should, too," Sango agreed. "Where's Inuyasha?"

"He stepped outside so I could change," Kagome said, moving to the edge of the wooden platform, and sitting down to yank her socks and shoes on.

Just then, he stepped into the hut as well, and within moments, the group was on their way, Kagome's trip home completely forgotten – for now.

They weren't expecting, however, the scene they came upon – Sesshoumaru being attacked by some new demon, even as that evil being was trying to shred his only remaining arm. They all panicked when they caught sight of that demon trying to taint Kohaku's shard – but no one more than Kagome.

The moment that Inuyasha severed the limb holding Sesshoumaru and Kohaku, the boy dropped, and Sango and Kagome both went running, Sango to assess his well-being, and Kagome to purify that shard once again. She couldn't allow Kikyou's light to go out.

"I'll purify the shard, Sango – that should wake him back up. He just passed out because of the taint." Sango nodded as she watched Kagome's warm blue aura reach out and enfold her brother, thankful that she had such a friend.

Kagome's mind, however, was on the new demon – and why he felt familiar. It felt as though she should know him, except she knew she'd never seen him before in her life. Turning her head as her aura automatically worked on purifying the shard, she stared at him, a frown on her face.

_Is he really the one that tainted the shard? An incarnation of Naraku? But... something feels different..._

Right at that moment, as though he could feel her gaze on him, he turned his head and met her gaze – and she could feel a pulse of evil so great, that it immediately overwhelmed her, and she blacked out, only one thought in her mind as the darkness came up to swallow her... _Inuyasha!_

"Kagome!"

"Kagome, are you alright?"

"Kagome!"

Inuyasha's attention was immediately pulled from the demon he was facing to his friends, rage taking him when he saw Kagome laying on the ground unconscious, and the weirdo in front of him staring at her with a nasty smirk on his face.

"Bastard! What did you do to Kagome?" he shouted.

His blood boiled when the fucker just laughed, and he completely missed his brother's words to his friends.

"Take Kohaku and leave," Sesshoumaru said, coming to a stop near Kagome and the others.

"Huh?" Sango asked.

"You are in my way."

He leaped, then, landing just behind his brother, and Inuyasha caught sight of his severely injured arm.

"Baka! This is no kind of fight to be in when you're hurt like that! Just leave this bastard to me – I owe him for whatever it was he did to Kagome!"

"It's all your fault," he heard Jaken shriek. The toad had been standing to the rear, watching. "It's because he gave the meidou to yo-"

"Shut up!" Inuyasha yelled, then fell silent as a wind began to pick up – a youki wind.

"It seems I have been underestimated," Sesshoumaru said. "For a half-demon to pity me... hmph!" he growled, and eyes suddenly going crimson, he held up his arm, and everyone watched on in awe as the wounds in it healed within mere seconds.

The demon grinned at that, and made to attack. "I guess that you're not done yet," he said, seemingly pleased to continue the fight.

To his surprise, however, though Sesshoumaru didn't even move 'til the last moment, he couldn't land a blow, as the Lord suddenly disappeared into an energy orb – and then transformed into his huge inu form, dropping down and tearing the demon's head from his body in one swift strike.

Still...

"I don't care if you tear this body to shreds," he laughed, his head, still caught in the great inu's teeth, staring at Inuyasha and the others jeeringly. "It's only borrowed, so..."

With a growl, Inuyasha yelled, "Who the hell are you?" getting pretty pissed at this demon that kept mocking them all.

Sending more tentacles from his decapitated body, the demon said, "Since you asked, I'll tell you. My name is Magatsuhi."

Inuyasha's eyes widened, and he gasped. "Magatsuhi?"

_That's the one that Kaede said sealed Kagome!_

-sSs-

A silent group made it's way back to Kaede's, all of them thinking over the awesome battle they'd seen as Sesshoumaru finally took his destiny into his hands – and gained his own sword, as well as his left arm back.

He had proven himself greater than his father on that day, and despite the fact that Magatsuhi had escaped, it was only a matter of time before Sesshoumaru caught up with him.

Kagome, however, wasn't thinking about that – since she'd pretty much missed the whole thing while being unconscious. Her mind was occupied with the one she now knew was Magatsuhi – the evil will of the jewel. And the fog that seemed to have penetrated her soul. She felt dazed, and unable to focus, and that fact had her uneasy – this was no time for something like this.

After all, she had to get going home once they got back to Kaede's, so she could take her exams, and she still had her responsibilities here, as well, though how she was supposed to do anything about those with her powers now totally sealed, she didn't have the first clue.

_Maybe I'm just tired, _she thought. _We really haven't had any rest. Not that I'll get any of that at home, with all the studying and testing, and..._

She sighed quietly. Plastering a fake smile on her face at her friends inquiring looks, she shook her head. "It's nothing. I'm just thinking about my exams, that's all! I've got to get going home, so I'll see you guys after I finish with them."

Sango and Miroku both eyed her with concern, but didn't say anything, simply waving her on as she turned to head towards the well while they themselves moved on to Kaede's, Kirara carrying a still-unconscious Kohaku. No surprise that Inuyasha followed on along behind Kagome – he'd barely let her out of his sight since that whole episode with Hitomiko.

And now that her powers were somehow sealed completely, things had gotten a lot worse.

She felt horrible that Kohaku was still unconscious, unable to awaken because his shard was corrupted... and she couldn't do a damn thing to help him. She felt like such a... a … _failure. _

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice Inuyasha following right behind her, nor did she notice the silence of the forest around them. It was overrun by the darkness shrieking in her mind.

_After everything that's happened, I've failed to protect Kohaku's light. And the only way to get my powers back is for Sesshoumaru to find Magatsuhi, and destroy him, in that way breaking my seal. But there's no telling how long that will take... and I think the battle with Naraku will be decided soon._

Her shoulders slumped. _I'm so sorry, Kikyou... I was right when I told you that you'd picked the wrong person to take over for you. _

Forcing back the tears she so desperately wanted to cry, Kagome stared at the well for a few moments, then sighed, and jumped in.

_All I can do now is hope that Sesshoumaru comes through so I can do what I need to do. What I was... born to do._

"Inuyasha," she whispered, as the time slip opened and took her away from the past.

She still hadn't realized that the object of her thoughts was right behind her – and had heard her dejected whisper.

_Kagome... what's wrong with you? What's really on your mind?_

-sSs-

Inuyasha watched through Kagome's bedroom window as she sat at her desk, studying, just as she always seemed to be doing when she came back through the well. Leaning back against the trunk of the great tree he was settled in, he folded his arms behind his head, and let his thoughts wander, now that Kagome was on this side of the well and safe.

It didn't take more than a few seconds of thinking, though, to have him scowling. _And what the hell did she mean by spouting all that bullshit about it not being my responsibility to protect her the other day? Didn't she understand that when she asked to stay with me, and I agreed, even though I would have to protect Kikyou, that I was saying I would protect her, too? _He huffed as his eyes narrowed angrily.

_Baka woman. Like I'd let her wander around my world without my protection! Feh! Does she really think I only said I'd protect her because of Kikyou? How stupid can she be? I don't see her as Kikyou, and I know I can't keep my promise to Kikyou by saving her. I protect Kagome because I want to protect Kagome. That has nothing to do with Kikyou._

He knew he'd have to have a long talk with her about that one... he'd wanted to since the moment she'd said it, but they just hadn't had the chance – and it didn't help matters when she was seemingly trying to avoid him. It wasn't like she was running from him, or anything, of course, but she had just seemed to get more and more distant since Kikyou died, and then the whole mess with Kaou didn't help matters.

_Keh. That vision... and the things he said to me. Did Kagome really take them to heart? I... yes, part of me did want to follow Kikyou for a moment – the part that was still trying to face our past. But most of me, only wanted peace. It felt peaceful in that dream, for just a few seconds – but it was only an illusion, and when I heard Kagome calling for me, I had to go back to her. I could never leave her willingly._

_But I'm sure she heard what Kaou said... about the woman I loved most in the world dying. And then saying that I wanted to die to follow her – that had to bother Kagome, even though none of it was true. But she hasn't said anything. Not like she's really been talking much to me, lately, though. She won't tell me what she's thinking, and I know something's wrong._

His fists clenched with frustration, and he looked down at them, suddenly feeling helpless. It wasn't something he was used to feeling – the only ones who'd ever left him feeling that way, were Kikyou... and Kagome. But that was only because he loved them so much.

Kikyou... he'd loved her so much when he was younger, before all that had happened with Onigumo. But it hadn't been enough... and he was well aware that when it had counted, they hadn't trusted each other. That had been their downfall. And while part of him would always love her, and keep her memory bright, he _had _moved on.

When Kikyou had finally died, there in his arms those weeks ago, they'd had a chance to speak a little before she went, and he'd spoken truthfully to her when he had told her that she was the _first _woman he'd ever loved. She was... but she wasn't the _only_. He loved Kagome, in the here and now, and Kikyou had known that, even before she had died. And while he felt badly that their fates had been sundered from each other because of Naraku's treachery, he couldn't bring himself to regret Kagome's presence in his life.

It was confusing, and sometimes he felt so guilty – because he knew that if Kikyou hadn't died, and he hadn't been sealed, he wouldn't have met Kagome... and not regretting that he _had_ met her, meant that in _some_ way, he was glad about what had happened. Okay, maybe not _glad_, but certainly... accepting. It felt as though he were buying his happiness at the cost of Kikyou's happiness and life. And that wasn't really fair to her... though everything that Kagome had been through, and was _still_ going through, wasn't really fair, either.

He shot another glance into her window, his eyes softening as he watched her raven hair flutter in the breeze being let in through it. _She tries so hard to honor her family here, and us there... and it's wearing on her. I can see the dark shadows under her eyes._

He looked down at his still-clenched hands once more. "I swear to you, Kagome, we're gonna have this all out. I'm not letting you push me away. Somehow, I'm going to find the time to tell you... everything."

-sSs-

Kagome sighed, annoyed to no end with Inuyasha. She just couldn't believe how destructive he could be.

_I mean, honestly! Using Tessaiga to kill a roach? Talk about overkill! I hate those things just as much as the next person, and I freak out as badly as mama does when I see one, but a newspaper like grandpa had was more than enough! What was he thinking_?

"Inuyasha-" she started to say.

"I know, Kagome, I already said I was sorry, didn't I?" the hanyou grouched as he assisted her out of the well.

"Baka! What were you going to do against that bug with Tessaiga? The Adamant Barrage?" she muttered, eyeing him askance. "I just can't imagine what was going on inside your mind!"

He glared at her, then shrugged petulantly. "Keh! Who cares? It's over, and I said I was sorry. Now-" he broke off as Kagome's face paled, and he lifted his head into the wind to sniff. "Poison, and blood – in the village!"

Kagome hopped on his back without another word, and he took off like a bat out of hell, heading for the village at top speed, praying that their friends were okay.

"Hurry, Inuyasha – something's very wrong!"

"I know, Kagome!" He came to a skidding halt as they entered the village at the sight of Kaede's hut collapsed in on itself, and letting Kagome slide off his back, he pushed through the ruined doorway, almost panicking at the sight that met his eyes.

Kagome gasped in shock when she caught sight of Sango – she was sporting a terrible wound in her back, and she instantly dropped to her knees at her side, trying to help her sit up. "Sango! What happened here?"

Inuyasha, meanwhile, was more concerned with Miroku – he could hear the wind tunnel, and ripping his robes away from his shoulder, he scowled at the now waking monk. "Baka! You used it again, and now the miasma is spreading!"

"Now isn't the time for taking me to task, Inuyasha!" he snapped back. "You have to go after Kohaku – Magatsuhi took control of him, and is leading him straight to Naraku. Go after him and stop him!"

Inuyasha nodded, then wheeled around to look at Kagome. "Let's go, Kagome. We have to stop Kohaku."

Kagome winced, then looked down at Sango, who nodded. "Please, stop him, Kagome – Inuyasha."

"Okay. You'll be alright here?" she asked, concerned for the wound on her friend's back. It needed to be treated.

Just then, Kaede stepped into the ruins of her house, and took in what was happening at a glance. "Go – find Kohaku. I will take care of Miroku and Sango."

"Keh! Let's go, Kagome," Inuyasha snapped out.

She didn't answer, merely swinging onto his back again, and just like that, the two were gone, following the trail of the young taijiya that fate had betrayed so badly.

_Kohaku is like Kikyou... the shikon has brought him nothing but suffering. Perhaps I can work it so that he can be restored, too. He shouldn't have had to live with everything that he has. Sure, a lot of people have died since Naraku became obsessed with the jewel – but Kohaku was denied even that peace, just as Kikyou was – death wasn't a release for either of them thanks to Naraku._

_And that's why I will give everything I have to make it right – for Kikyou, and for Kohaku, too._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kagome was completely silent the entire way back to the village from the place they'd had that confrontation with Magatsuhi, and then Naraku, and where they'd lost the last shard. There was so much on her mind that she was barely even aware of her surroundings, let alone the hanyou that was carrying her.

_I'm so glad Kikyou decided that her light was better given to Kohaku to save him. Now I'm freed to do what I need to do – what I was born to do. Don't worry, Kikyou... things will soon be righted, and the imbalance that Naraku created will be fixed._

She almost had to laugh at the irony of what her own fate was to be – the Shikon was reborn into the world inside her body, only to have the whole thing end on the other end of the spectrum. She would lose her life and be reborn into the _jewel_...

To fight Naraku forever inside it, just as Midoriko had been fated to fight the other youkai in the jewel.

_Kikyou... _Kagome's eyes were fixed on a distant horizon as she accepted her destiny. _Kikyou, please, live and love Inuyasha enough for us both – live long and well with our soul... because its next rebirth will be cursed, rather than blessed. Live ten thousand lifetimes, all in one, so that our soul will have those memories to hold dear in the darkness of my tomb... so that I will have your happiness to comfort me until the world ends and I am freed from the endless night inside the Tama. _

She shivered, fear touching her as despair slammed into her. Despite the fact that she was determined to give Inuyasha his happiness, despite what she _knew_ the price for that was going to be, she was determined to do it – but that didn't mean that she wasn't terrified, miserable, and grief-stricken. She was so afraid of being alone in darkness, her only company the horrid spider.

Now that she was staring at an eternity of being cast into the same role as Midoriko, she could only weep endless tears within her heart for the legendary miko. Five hundred years she had been trapped in limbo, fighting a battle she could never have hope of winning – or losing. It was stasis, in its truest form. Kagome sighed inwardly, looking back to the moment she'd realized exactly what was going to happen to Naraku. The moment he'd completed the jewel...

Naraku had been gloating about gaining the final shard... and all she could think was, _Don't think so much of yourself, Naraku. Your fate is the same as mine... no matter what happens out here, I will see you... inside the jewel._

It had hit her like an avalanche of horror... something no one else had ever realized – _Naraku, and everyone else, has been so blinded by its power, that no one has noticed that the jewel has a will of it's own... _

_And a wish of its own!_

_The Shikon no Tama has a wish, too. But it can't wish on itself, so it has to influence someone else to do it..._

It was then she knew she could fool the Shikon into granting _her_ wish – _and_ into granting the _right_ wish, as well.

And even though Naraku had run as soon as he got his hands on the jewel, Kagome had only stared after him – in that moment she had almost –_ almost _– pitied him.

_Running away won't help you, Naraku. It's too late for you. You should have known that there's no such thing as free power - there's always a catch. And the catch for you, is that the Shikon will take you over, and it will no longer be by your will that things are done._

Her grief in that moment had all been for Sango and Kohaku... so to find that Kikyou had chosen to protect Kohaku had pleased her to no end – and it made her task so much easier. _Now... there's nothing blocking me from finishing this... save for Naraku – and the jewel itself. _

_And now we're heading back to the village – I will go home one last time. I can attend my graduation – it's pointless now, of course, and even trying so hard for High School, ended up being unnecessary, but... since memories are all I'm going to have, I want to grab as many as I can and hoard them all. At the very least, I have to see mama and ji-chan and Sota one more time..._

"Inuyasha," she said, voice distant but firm, "I'm going home tomorrow morning until the afternoon. I... have something to take care of."

Inuyasha tightened his grip on her thighs, opening his mouth to argue with her, until he noted her aura and scent. She was not going to give on this one, and so, grudgingly, he huffed and said, "Fine! But you'd better be back tomorrow afternoon. No later!"

She shrugged. "Fine. But you'd better not show up to come after me – unless Naraku appears in the village, leave me be, got it?"

Every part of Inuyasha clenched when she said that – instantly, he was suspicious. _What the hell is __with__ her? Why do I get the feeling that she's hiding something huge from me? Something that's no good? And dammit... I still haven't had a chance to talk to her! I almost had it out that night in her room... but then her family showed up and ruined it. And there's been no more chance to do it since._

He flushed as heat ran through him at that memory. Talking wasn't _all_ that had almost happened... his insides tightened at the thought of how close he'd been to finally tasting her the way he'd wanted to do for so long. _Damn Sota anyways, _he thought, disgruntled. _Why couldn't they have all stayed out for a while longer? Keh! And now who knows when I'll get the chance to corner her again._

Once they arrived in the village, Inuyasha, with a great deal of reluctance, let Kagome slide off his back, and then a thought occurred to him. _Wait a minute – she said she was going home tomorrow. But it's just sundown... there's plenty of time to talk to her tonight! Maybe after dinner, she'll be willing to go for a walk with me._

He sighed, then scowled as he caught sight of Kaede's destroyed hut. _Of course, just another thing that needs to be rebuilt. _"Oi, Sango," he called as Kirara landed in front of the hut. "Where's the old hag and the monk?" He hissed as he got an elbow to his side.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome reprimanded, her tone irate. "If you don't stop being rude..." she trailed off warningly.

He folded his arms into his sleeves and looked away, sulking. "Feh!"

Sango shook her head as she watched the two – it was funny, in a way... and yet, she could feel something was different. Still, it was comforting to see the two arguing again. Kagome had been so distant lately...

She shook herself from her reverie when Inuyasha growled at her. "Oh! Sorry, Inuyasha. She's in that storage hut at the other end of the village. It's empty right now, and warm and dry. It'll do until her hut can be rebuilt."

"Fine, let's go, then. I'm sure Kohaku could use something to eat-" he glanced at the miko by his side, "-and the wench could, too." He lead them off, very aware of the woman next to him – and her continuing silence. She was preoccupied again, and that uneasy feeling he'd been getting lately when it came to her deepened.

_She's slipping through my fingers – I've got to talk to her tonight! _

-sSs-

Kagome stared into the fire in the small building, knees up and hands clasped over them. She was glad that Kohaku seemed to be doing so well – the poor boy had been through more in his short life than most people had in their entire lifetimes. He needed to be protected now, as he'd tried to do for her such a short time ago.

_Maybe that's what Inuyasha needs to protect – along with Kikyou, of course, when I wish her back. _Her mind went back to that night at her house... she really wished that her family had stayed away a little longer – she wanted to have one kiss... just _one_. She'd almost had it... and then his sweet words of protecting her with his life. She could pretend in her own mind that it was real and all for her, but she knew it wasn't.

No... it was an extension of his promise to Kikyou. And that's why she couldn't allow him to do it. He couldn't be allowed to give up his life for her – because then her wish for him would be a moot point. No... he had to live – so he could _love_.

As far as she was concerned, no one on earth deserved it more than he did. After all, two hundred years of being alone was more than anyone else had ever had to deal with – and all because no one could see beyond what he was, to the heart within – to _who_ he was... no one save Kikyou. And even that hadn't been what it should have been. Perhaps that's why she had truly been allowed to come back by the kami. To learn to see who Inuyasha really was – to see what it was like being something that others saw as an abomination.

And when she had died, this was a lesson she had, in fact, learned and accepted. She had finally let go of everything, and loved Inuyasha for _who_ he was, and not in spite of _what_ he was.

At any rate, now she, Kagome, could be the one to give him what he so deserved – no one else could do it. It made something inside her warm. _Yes... I'll give him love... though it will be through Kikyou, and not myself. That doesn't matter – I've always wanted him to be happy, even if I wasn't part of it._

She started when a clawed hand appeared before her face, and she blinked at it for a moment, bemused, then looked up in confusion at the handsome hanyou standing before her.

"We need to talk, woman. There's things I need to say, and kami knows when we'll get the chance again."

Veiling her eyes, she simply nodded, and allowed him to help her up. Once on her feet, she followed him out of the hut without a word. She was rather surprised when he didn't offer his back, merely set off at a slow pace in the direction of the Goshinboku.

_Hm... wonder what he wants? I hope he's not planning on interrogating me again. I'm no good at lying, and I really don't want him to figure out what I'm planning before I do it._

It was silent for a time; Kagome flicked a glance his way, only to find his gaze pinned to the diamond-studded sky, and his arms folded in his sleeves. It was such an Inuyasha pose that Kagome knew she would remember him just this way for the rest of eternity – even while she was trapped in the endless night of the jewel.

_It hurts – but I also feel so warm knowing that I can give him happiness. I can give him Kikyou – and Kikyou also deserves happiness. Maybe I can... maybe I can be content with this fate. I'm still afraid – but it's bearable, knowing that I leave him with the joy he should always have had._

A small smile crossed her face with her thoughts, one which she had no idea he saw, but it left him stunned with the simple beauty of it – her eyes were lit up from within, and in that moment, his past, Kikyou, the jewel, Naraku – all of it was forgotten as he stared at her. His pace faltered, and he came to a halt, raising a hand to her to stop her.

She turned to look at him in concern, and got caught in his eyes. _What is he...? Oh... that's how he was looking at me, before – in my room. He's remembering Kikyou. But can I...? Can I let him remember her, through me? If he kisses her, through me, just once, it will comfort him – and I'll get one kiss to remember – even if it isn't really for me._

_Can I...? Yes. I can. It's not being selfish to take one thing for myself..._

Watching as he drew closer, she sighed, and let her eyes close, not wanting to actually see Kikyou reflecting in his eyes. She could feel his heated, sweet-smelling breath on her lips, and then... and then...

"Hey! What are you guys doing?" came Shippo's high-pitched voice, and startled, Inuyasha jumped back, turning an angry red as he caught the flying kitsune by the tail.

"What the hell are you doing out here, you stupid runt?" he shouted, pissed as hell that _once again_ he'd been interrupted just as he was about to get something he'd been wanting for what seemed like frickin' forever. _Fuck! _the frustrated hanyou screamed inside his mind, _Every damn time! I'm going to kill something if I get interrupted just one more fuckin' time!_

Kagome, who'd been just as startled, sighed, eyes tightening with frustration, resigned. _I guess that answers that. I'm not even supposed to have a single real kiss. Kikyou must not want me to have that... _a pulse of something went through her, then, and she frowned. _But you know what? I don't care. If I get the chance before it's too late, I'm going to take that kiss. I'm giving everything up for you, Kikyou – __you and Inuyasha. You can allow me this one thing._

With that thought, Kagome opened her eyes, and looked at the two males arguing, Shippo still dangling from Inuyasha's fist.

"Enough, you two," she snapped, breaking through their argument. "Shippo, what _are_ you doing out here?"

"Kaede wanted me to tell you guys that you need to stay close – she says the trees are restless and that's a bad omen."

Kagome nodded, taking note of the unsettled state of the forest around them herself. But she flared her aura, and realized that it wasn't because of an immediate threat, it was a forewarning. "Tell Kaede the threat isn't imminent – the trees sense the coming battle with Naraku, Shippo."

The little kit looked up at her solemnly, though the look was a bit comical coming from an upside down little boy. "Are you sure, K'gome?"

She smiled at him. "Sure am, Shippo. Naraku won't show up for another day or so. We have a little time, and Magatsuhi isn't anywhere around here – he's trying to avoid Sesshoumaru."

Inuyasha dropped the kit with a warning growl, eyeing him belligerently. "And you'd better tell the bouzo and Sango to stay the hell away from us. Kagome and I need to talk, and I'm gettin' tired of people interrupting us!"

_You aren't the only one, _Kagome thought wryly. _I just want one damn good kiss to remember, and fate is completely screwing with me on it. Go figure._

Inuyasha watched the runt wander off with a gimlet eye, not entirely certain the kit wouldn't try to hide behind a bush or something and jump out at them again. Once Shippo was out of sight, he huffed, and grabbing Kagome, he took to the trees, hauling her far away from any possible interference.

Or so he thought.

_So... I need to get her to tell me what's been on her mind so much lately. And then I need to tell her how I feel. I don't want any more crap between us causing confusion and mayhem like there has been for so damn long._

Once he got far enough away that he deemed it safe, Inuyasha dropped down once more from the treetops, and came to a halt on a hill overlooking the valley that the village sat in. It was a beautiful spot, the moonlight shining off the rice patties and highlighting the waters that abounded in the valley, lighting up the entire area.

Reluctantly setting her down, he let his fingers brush against the soft skin of her thighs as she slid from his back, and smiled inwardly at her sharp inhale – she wasn't immune to his touch, obviously. That could only be a good thing.

Setting himself down, he gestured to the soft patch of grass at his side, then, once she sat down next to him, he folded his hands into his sleeves nervously. _Now... how to get this conversation off the __ground?_

Ears lowering, he glanced sideways at her. "Kagome... what's been going through your mind these last few weeks? I _know_ there's something – and it hurts that you won't tell me. You always tell me that I can tell you anything – don't you realize that it works the same in reverse?" he asked softly.

Kagome looked startled for a moment, then saddened. _This isn't something I can tell you, though... you're too honorable, and you'd try to stop me. This is one secret I can't share..._

"There's a lot on my mind, Inuyasha. It's not just one thing," she sighed, knowing that was safe enough. It was true, after all. "I'm still trying to figure out the whole 'right wish' thing, too. It's kind of driving me crazy."

He watched her clasp her hands together, her fingers twisting with nerves, and knew that there was more to it – more to her preoccupation and the distance she'd been putting between them than she was saying. The fact that she was so determined to hide whatever it was told him it was nothing good.

"That's not the reason you've been pulling away from me. Ever since... _she_ died, you've distanced yourself from me. I hate that. You're my best friend." _Even though I want a hell of a lot more than that... "_My first, and best friend, the only one to ever take me as I _am_. Even the others, Miroku and Sango, only accepted me at first, because _you_ did. You accepted me on your own, without anyone elses say-so. And now, you're pulling away from me – trying to leave me behind. _Why_, Kagome?"

Hands clenched tight, her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked hard to fight them back. _No matter which way things go, he's going to get hurt... but letting me go will be the lesser of two evils. With Kikyou back, any hurt he feels at my passing will be minimized, so... _She inhaled deeply, then let it out slowly, and her shoulders slumped a little.

"I'm just... saying goodbye to everything, I guess - you know... just in case things don't go the way we all hope. I bet everyone's kinda doing the same thing in their own ways, since we don't know what fate really has in store for us," she elaborated at his protesting growl. "It's not that I'm wishing for death, or anything, Inuyasha, but if it comes... I don't want to leave behind any regrets." _That should be vague enough... hopefully, even though it's not strictly true. "_It's not like I haven't come close to death a few times on this journey, already, you know... remember Kaguya?"

"That was because you jumped in front of that arrow that was supposed to hit me, wench!" he yelled.

She shifted back in surprise, her face scrunching at his volume. "Yeah, and I'd do it again, baka! So... it could happen that I don't come out of this... that's all I'm saying," she finished quietly.

He turned towards her and grabbed her by her upper arms, shaking her a bit. "And what if I don't want you to die for me, huh? What if I want you to _live_ for me instead? I won't let you say goodbye to me, Kagome!" he snarled. "If you go, I go. That's all there is to it, and there's no point in arguing with me about it, because I don't care what you say!"

She shook her head at him sadly. "Inuyasha... there's some things you can't save me from, you know." Her mind replayed his anguished words again... _"I wanted to protect her forever." _It caused her throat to close up. _You can't save me from yourself... or from my own choices, you silly baka, _she thought fondly. _And this is my choice... to give you a second chance at a life with your beloved._

Gritting his teeth, he pulled her into his chest, and wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could. "If you go, I go, Kagome, don't think I don't mean it. So don't do anything stupid," he mumbled into her neck where his face was pressed.

_Oh... it feels so good to be held by him... I wish this moment could last forever... _"I'm not planning anything stupid, I promise, Inuyasha," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him with all the love she had in her heart for him. _That's not a lie... "_And besides – there's some things that are stronger than friendship – don't give up on life just because I'm gone."

"There's nothing stronger than what I feel for you, Kagome. Nothing."

_Maybe not now... since Kikyou's gone. But if she were here again, you'd understand what I'm saying. Once she's back, you'll know what I meant. The friendship you feel for me is only the strongest thing now because the love of your life is gone. _She tightened her grip for one long moment, then reluctantly released him, pulling back to look at him.

"Was that what you wanted to talk about? You just wanted to know what was bothering me?"

He eyed her suspiciously; he was more than aware that whatever it was she was hiding wasn't coming out – and with the things she had said, he had a pretty good idea that whatever she was planning was something that had a _very_ good chance of killing her. He would _not_ allow it – he'd be sticking by her side tighter than glue once they cornered Naraku. In the meantime...

"That was part of it," he said softly, still looking down at her. "I-" he broke off as another voice interrupted him.

"Now that the dead one is gone, you chase the living?"

With an enraged snarl, Inuyasha released Kagome and leaped to his feet, rounding on his brother, he clenched his hands around Tessaiga, angrier than he could ever remember being at him. "What the fuck are you talking about, bastard?" he growled out, the sound deep and low - dangerous.

"I will not explain words that you understood full well – as did the miko," Sesshoumaru replied, glancing at her and catching her pained wince. "If she is willing to accept second-hand affections, that is her concern – however, now is not the time for trysting. Magatsuhi is lurking, and I have no doubt he would love to destroy your miko. It would be best if you were to return to your village." With that, the daiyoukai turned on his heel and left, leaving behind a brother that was so pissed he couldn't even move.

_Dammit, why would he say something like that? Fuck! Why do people keep sayin' shit about Kagome and me that isn't true?_

Breathing deeply as he tried to push his youkai blood back down, he glanced over his shoulder at Kagome, flinching at the look on her face, he growled again, and dropped to his knees, punching the ground with his fist. "Fuck! _This is bullshit_!" he howled.

Kagome couldn't get Sesshoumaru's words out of her head – they were true, after all, but that even he knew about his brother's feelings for Kikyou... and her place in the whole mess, really hurt. Turning away from Inuyasha, she sighed and shook her head. "Inu... we should go. Sesshoumaru's right – it's dangerous out here. We should go back to the village and make sure everyone's okay there."

"Kagome, I..." he trailed off as she started to walk away. "Dammit, woman, where the hell are you going? I ain't finished!"

She paused, but didn't look back. "Inuyasha... I think enough has been said right now. Gomen, but... I don't think I can take anymore tonight. It's been a long day – and the next days are going to be even longer. We should take what rest we can, while we can."

_Fuck... she took what he said to heart, and she won't listen to anything I say right now. I'll just corner her tomorrow as soon as she comes back from her time – hopefully that will give her enough time to calm down. _

Angrily, he bent down and motioned for her to get on his back. "Fine. We'll go back to the village – but this isn't over, Kagome. I have some things to say to you, and I'm going to fuckin' say them. Tomorrow, when you get back..." he stopped; she understood him, and he didn't say anything else as she climbed on and he took off back towards the village.

_I'm so fuckin' tired of the damn interruptions!_

-sSs-

"_I wanted to protect her forever."_

Gasping, Kagome jerked awake, tears running down her face as that damn sentence echoed through her dreams over and over again.

"_Now that the dead one is gone, you chase the living?"_

Despite the fact that Kagome knew, and had accepted that Inuyasha would always love Kikyou, and that she, Kagome, was only a friend – a dear one, but only a friend nonetheless – it still hurt. Badly. While she would respect his feelings, and never try to take them from him or invalidate them, she couldn't turn her own feelings off just because they weren't returned, and the loss she was feeling was something that she would feel for the rest of her cursed existence.

Unfortunately, it looked as though she were fated to spend that cursed existence with Naraku... not a fate to look forward to – and all she would have were memories. Sometimes... in the dark of the night, and even though she had in fact chosen the fate she was going to bring on her own head due to her love of the golden-eyed hanyou, she still felt some bitterness... why couldn't he have loved her like she loved him – or at least, why couldn't her heart have turned to one who _did_ return those feelings – like Hojo... or Koga?

But in the end, that bitterness couldn't keep a hold on her heart – because she did love Inuyasha that much. Love, when it was true, wasn't selfish. The eyes of love couldn't envy – because love was blind. And always, no matter how much it hurt, she _always_ remembered that. That was why Akago couldn't grasp her soul – because her heart was true to itself, leaving almost no darkness in her soul for anything evil to take ahold of.

She sat up with a melancholy sigh, wrapping her arms around herself almost defensively. So many memories of him crowded her thoughts... memories of all the times they'd had together. He was so beautiful to her, every move he made only stoking her desire and her love higher. He made her heart ache always with his silver and gold colors – they echoed his spirit so strongly. Silver, gold... and crimson. Never would she ever be able to see those colors again without thinking of him.

A light flutter, a feeling as though something were touching her very soul – and suddenly, she could _feel_ Inuyasha, just as strongly as if he were in the room with her, with a gasp, her eyes widened, and she knew, _knew, _that he was thinking of her just the same as she was thinking of him.

_Inuyasha..._

_Kagome..._

_Baka girl... thinking she's gonna get out of it. We're gonna talk whether she likes it or not. And I'm not gonna let her do anything stupid, either – no matter what she's thinkin'. _His eyes softened, then. _Crazy wench, anyways. But beautiful. All black as night locks and pale, perfect skin. Blue eyes that go a stormy grey – I'll always see blue and green as her... all framed by ebony. Keh – even her hair has blue highlights to it. 'Course, she looks awfully good in red... like my suikan. And that dainty shell pink that crosses her cheeks when she's embarrassed... and it's always the color of her lips, too._

He growled. _Now if I could just get a damn taste of those pretty lips I'd be a happy hanyou. But __no__... everybody and their damn friends have to keep interrupting! _He slammed his head back into the trunk of his tree, frustration running through him again. _Never thought I'd think of having __friends__ as a __hassle__! _

He scooted lower onto his branch, a sulky pout on his face. Right at that moment, it was like he could feel Kagome next to him, and the frustration welled up even stronger, finally overflowing his control as he growled and slammed a fist into the branch above him. With a splintering crack, the limb gave way, and he watched, irritation flaring in him, as it crashed into his perch and got caught.

_Keh! I wish I had Naraku's ugly face here to punch... or maybe that mangy wolf. _That last one was thought with considerably less heat, more a minor disgruntlement; after all, the stupid ookami had finally admitted defeat and given up his pursuit of Kagome... _but still... cocky bastard even while doing it. Damn... it really feels like Kagome's sitting here next to me, 'cause now I can feel her annoyance at me for even thinkin' about kickin' that bastard's ass. Feh, _he thought disgustedly. _I shoulda kicked his ass a long time ago – but ain't no need to be thinkin' about it now. He's gone, so maybe I should just go smack the hentai around a little bit. I'm sure he's done something to piss Sango off by now..._

A shiver ran up his spine at that; he could almost feel Kagome's warning glare on his back. _Fine! _He shouted into his mind. _I won't kick anybody's ass – I'll just sit here and be frustrated until you get back tomorrow – and then I'll let it boil over until I get what I damn well want! Is a freakin' kiss too damn much to ask! _

_Women! Can't live with 'em..._

_And can't live without... her. Hear that, Kagome? Can't live without you. So don't make me hafta try – 'cause I won't. I already told you..._

_If you go, I go._

He hoped she got the message, because he didn't feel like dying. He wanted to _live_.

With her.

-sSs-

It was done.

Somehow, against all odds, they had defeated Naraku – and she had even purified all the miasma that had dropped on the village, along with the rest of the spider's carcass. Even she had been surprised at the strength of her reiki once Sesshoumaru had killed Magatsuhi and unsealed her powers.

But all that just meant that the end, for her, was coming. She knew already what Naraku had wished for – what the jewel had forced him to wish for. It was just like she'd already known – the jewel controlled him, not the other way around, and Naraku had been just as betrayed by the Tama in the end as everyone else that had ever touched it had been.

He'd even admitted it as he told them that he'd made a wish for the jewel's sake before he disappeared.

She wasn't sure how it was going to happen, but she knew any moment, she would be pulled into the jewel, as well; Naraku was already inside, waiting for her. She stared at the well, at the spot he had disappeared, the place the Shikon had disappeared, and then looked around once more, fixing everyone's faces in her mind one last time – she wanted to carry them into eternity with her.

Fear coiled, then, thick in her throat, and just in that instant, she felt a strange stirring behind her. Not even turning to look, she knew that her time was up, and as she got pulled away from all her friends, from Inuyasha, she cried out, frightened suddenly, so terrified, that as he tried desperately to reach her, she reached out for him, too, momentarily forgetting her desire to wish his love back to life.

Momentarily forgetting that this had to happen - so that she could.

When the meidou closed around her, though, with Inuyasha trapped on the other side, she remembered, and still crying, she accepted her fate. It was time to fool the Shikon no Tama into giving her what she wanted. _If I succeed, and Kikyou comes back, and I wish the Tama away, I'll simply be bound to Naraku in hell, instead of inside the jewel, so I guess it doesn't make any difference. At least I know what to expect in hell, now... since I've already been there once._

"Eternal darkness, or eternal torment?" she murmured to herself. "Which is worse? At least... at least Inuyasha isn't trapped here, too. He's still free, so it turned out okay, I guess."

A pulse thrummed through the dead air around her, and she twisted around in this strangely weightless void. It was the Shikon no Tama – still pierced through by her arrow. It pulsed again.

"Will you make a wish, or will you be trapped here for eternity?" it asked, it's voice oddly androgynous.

"I will make a wish, but only when I'm ready," she said softly. _I need... a little time to gather my __courage._

She could feel an odd probing feeling, and knew that the Tama was trying to read her. _I can't let it know the trick I'm going to play on it! _

"So – you will wish for the hanyou to be happy?" it asked, something close to amusement in its voice.

That was when she knew that it was only guessing – it hadn't gotten anything from her. Now, if she could only keep it guessing until she was ready...

"And why shouldn't I?" she questioned angrily. "He deserves it!"

"Does he really, priestess? Would you like to see his heart? I can show it to you..." the voice trailed off, and she frowned, curious.

"What do you mean?"

"I will take you on a journey through your hanyou's heart. You will see much that you missed – his thoughts, his feelings... about _everything_."

She didn't miss the peculiar intensity in its voice at that last part.

"That's not right – you shouldn't go poking around inside people's hearts and minds like that! That's just like Kaou," she huffed.

"No – Kaou used what he found for his own purposes... I merely show you the truth. We will revisit Kaou's palace, have no worries." With that, the darkness around them lightened, and Kagome found herself looking at a past scene... one she'd never wanted to see again.

"I remember this," she whispered. "This was when we were fighting the Band of Seven. That time when we almost died from the poison of Mukotsu." It was hard to watch, seeing as how she was viewing things from Inuyasha's point of view, since she'd been unconscious, and nearly dead.

"Hai. Do you see, priestess? How, though he is upset, he can barely bring himself to cry over your death? A bare, single tear... and he fought even that much, refusing to show any true grief over losing you."

The scene changed at his words, Kagome's frown deepening. _Where's it going with this? Like I didn't know Inuyasha refused to show grief?_

"Do you recognize this scene, priestess?" the voice taunted. "This time – when his beloved Kikyou died? See the tears, the ones he couldn't shed for _you,_ cascading, no, _flooding_, down his cheeks for _her_?"

Though Kagome had always known that Inuyasha loved Kikyou, not her, it didn't stop the hurt, the _agony_, that the Shikon's words brought – after all, she'd already acknowledged that she couldn't change her own feelings because he didn't return them.

Her face lowered, a hand coming up to clench over her heart in pain even as the Tama spoke again.

"So touching, don't you think? His grief is so raw and open... but not for you. And this is the male you would give up life, give up your very soul, for?"

With a sigh, she closed her eyes and nodded, still not looking up, tears of her own beginning to rim her eyes. "Yes. Always. I would give anything for him to be happy."

The space they were in rumbled with the Tama's scoff. "Why? Why would you let yourself give so much for him?"

"Because I love him," she said simply, looking nowhere but into her own heart and soul. "Because I always will."

"How sweet – and utterly useless. Let's look at some other things, shall we?" With those words, the scene before her changed yet again, and this time, she recognized Kaou's palace of flowers. "I told you that you would see this place again. But this time, I will show you what Inuyasha dreamed... and the desires of his heart that dream brought out."

Kagome was riveted to the vision before her, remembering clearly how badly the words Kaou had spoken about Inuyasha wanting to die to be with the 'woman he loved most in the world' had hurt. She really didn't want to hear it again.

_Too late..._

She could see Kikyou quite clearly offering her hand to Inuyasha, entreating him to go with her... and she watched with a heavy heart as he took the first tentative steps towards her outstretched hand, wanting to go with her, anguish settling into her... but anguish that she could see through. It didn't darken her the way the Tama obviously wanted – and hoped for.

"Yes... I see. He wanted to go to be with her. And that's why I want to wish him happiness. Because he deserves it – but he also deserves to live. He shouldn't have to go with her into death to be happy," Kagome said ruefully. "I... as Kagome, can't be what he wants," she admitted. "So wishing him happiness will give him what he truly wants – and we both know what that is."

_Not that the manipulative jewel needs to know that my true wish is actually for Kikyou to be brought back for him so they can live happily – the both of them. But that's something it's not going to find out until I'm ready, that's all there is to it._

"Why do you persist in wanting to wish for that hanyou to be happy?"

Kagome lifted her head, finally, and stared at the physical manifestation of the jewel. "Here's a better question – where's Naraku? I know he's around here somewhere."

There was another pulse, and then a sense of surprise... and amusement. "Do you mean to say that you have actual pity for your vanquished foe? After everything that he has done?"

"And why wouldn't I?" she shot back angrily, her eyes flashing hotly. "After all, he didn't get what he really wanted, either. In the end, you betrayed him just like everyone else. And now, he's going to be trapped with me for eternity, when I know that's not what he wanted, any more than I did!"

"Hm. How true... just like your beloved hanyou, Naraku wanted Kikyou. Neither of them wants you... what is it about that other miko that they are so enamored with? What is it about her that you cannot measure up?"

Kagome was well aware it was just another taunt by the jewel; it was still trying to darken her soul. Apparently, it was rather thick – it hadn't learned anything from her encounters with Naraku.

"I don't know, and it doesn't really matter. Why are you still playing with me?"

"Because it is not yet time for the wish to be made – and you are not yet darkened enough to make it. We still have some time for another vision. How about this one?"

Once again, the vision changed, only this time, she was watching Inuyasha wandering along inside Naraku's body, after he'd slashed her and pushed her away from him. She was curious about this part of things... _What happened for the Tama to show me this?_

"_Kikyou..."_

_Oh... he's reliving what happened between them fifty years ago, _she thought, her heart clenching with pain.

_'I never realized that the two of us had fallen into Naraku's trap... hating and hurting each other. Or that Kikyou ended up dying.' _

"_Kikyou... I'm going to protect you this time. I won't let anyone kill you again."_

_'But in the end, I couldn't save you.'_

"Do you see, little miko? Even after attacking you, and leaving you for dead, _you_, and the danger _he'd_ put you in, weren't even in his thoughts," the voice gloated as the vision faded out, the pain radiating from Kagome now easily felt within the Tama itself. "Even dead, she holds him, heart and soul, and all he feels for you is _responsibility. When he even bothers to remember you at all."_

The jewel's words were poison, and it knew it, it was counting on that poison tainting her beyond redemption. If it did, the Tama would become indestructible, with her soul, as well as that of Midoriko, fueling it for eternity. With both fallen priestesses, as well as their opponents, trapped for all time inside itself, it would live on in this world – forever – and no one would ever be able to banish it.

Immortality.

_That _was what the Shikon no Tama truly wished for itself, and only with her soul, and corrupt wish, could it achieve that.

In order to reach that goal, it would continue to do everything it could to poison and taint the pure heart of the priestess Kagome.

-sSs-

Inuyasha was in an absolute panic.

After Kagome's return the day of her graduation, they'd been immediately swept up in the battle with Naraku, and now this. She'd disappeared – and all due to the will of the Shikon no Tama. They'd never had the chance to have that talk... and Inuyasha was completely positive that one fact was about to cause all sorts of hell for him.

_Whatever Kagome's planning, I bet it's going to happen soon – which means I have to find her!_

That brought him to where he was now – leaping into a meidou with the plea to Tessaiga to take him to Kagome. Hopefully, it would work, and he'd be able to find her. He was uncomfortably aware that this would be his greatest challenge yet – none of the other times he'd saved her would compare to this one.

And not only because the Tama was involved.

No... because he was pretty damn sure that Kagome herself had no plans to come out of this alive.

But he'd promised – in more ways than one.

First, he'd promised her – to protect her with his life – second, he'd also promised that if she went, he would, too. And then, just a few minutes ago, he'd heard her grandfather, mother, and brother calling out for her – and he'd sworn he'd find her and bring her back to them.

He planned on keeping that promise, and the others.

It wasn't, however, helping, that he was getting accosted by all these stupid low-level demons – it was only pissing him off.

Especially as they were insisting that Kagome was going to be stuck here forever... and that there was nothing he could do about it.

Like hell.

He was startled to see a human flash by, battling a hoard of youkai – until the ones bothering him mentioned who it was – and where, exactly, he was.

"That is the miko who created the Shikon no Tama."

"So... that's Midoriko?" he asked, astonished, and a bit awed to be seeing the famed priestess.

"She has continued to fight us for hundreds of years... ever since the Shikon was born. Kagome will suffer the same fate," the youkai taunted.

"Like hell I'll let that happen!" he screamed, letting loose another Kaze no Kizu – not that it seemed to have much effect.

He was, however, quite shocked, when the light from his last strike faded... leaving him facing a huge web – with Naraku at the center of it.

"Naraku? You're still alive?"

"He's dead, but he will soon awaken. When Kagome gives into her fear of the darkness, and falls victim to the Shikon jewel, Naraku will reawaken, and a new battle of souls will begin. A battle that will never end. When the Shikon jewel was transported through time to the Sengoku Jidai, Kagome's fate was sealed."

"So you're telling me that Kagome's soul, and Naraku's soul, will be the next to fight inside the jewel?" he snarled incredulously.

"That's right. Kagome was born to become a part of the jewel, and fight within it!"

"You're wrong! That's not why Kagome was born!" he shouted, as he flung another surge of energy from Tessaiga at the youkai. _Kagome taught me how to smile, and how to believe in other people! Kagome was the reason I could make friends, and rely on those friends. To shed tears for others... to understand true strength and kindness... they're all things I learned from Kagome! _He stared angrily into the void, certainty surging inside him as his next thought literally tore up from the depths of his soul...

_Kagome was born to meet me... and I was born for her!_

As that thought breached the edges of his mind, and was accepted through his entire being, a thrum came from the void around them, and a light grew from the darkness...

To the hanyou's disbelief and shock, a miko appeared...

But it wasn't Kagome, and it wasn't Midoriko.

It was Kikyou, in all her glory – as she had once been... in life.

-sSs-

A/N: Sorry about the cliffie... but it was just too perfect to waste.

A couple things... one, this one is taking some time to finish, because of all the time I have to put into it. All the parts that are canon, I am taking straight from the anime, and that means I have to keep re-watching the episodes as I need, so that I can quote directly. That takes time.

Second. As you can see, most of the story goes along with canon anime. However, there are divergences... and there will continue to be some. As I stated in the beginning, this is how I would have ended things – I feel that the canon storyline ignored far too much of the angst that they handed Kagome, or simply glossed over it. That's why I'm writing this.

Third. Originally, I had planned this to be a two chapter story – but it's going to go to three, as I warned that it might. I just couldn't get everything I wanted into two chapters. Hope everyone is happy with that.

Fourth. I didn't bother with describing the whole final battle with Naraku. By now, most fans have either read the manga, or seen the final episodes, so I didn't feel like taking the time to write out something that was really only peripheral to this tale. Sorry for those who wanted a recap – it would have taken far too long.

And finally, as stated before, this fic will update for the final chapter when it gets there, and not before. I refuse to rush it. I know that it can be frustrating to get so into a fic, and then have to wait... but it's worse when an author caves and rushes something, and makes a mess of an otherwise awesome fic. I won't do that here, so please, have patience.

Ja Ne,

Amber


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"You have finally realized that which I, also, have only learned since my second death, Inuyasha," Kikyou smiled. "You truly were born for Kagome, not me. I wasn't ready to be with you as I was."

Eyes wide, stunned, Inuyasha stuttered, "K-Kikyou?" in disbelief, unable to say more.

The image of the miko of his past laughed outright at that, and he was even more stunned at the peaceful, happy expression on her face. He'd never seen her that way – not even when she'd been truly alive.

"Hai, Inuyasha. Is it really that shocking?"

"Hell, yes! What are you doing here?" he asked, still so busy trying to take in her presence, that he hadn't even noticed what she'd said in the beginning.

At that, her expression turned serious, and Inuyasha felt a wave of dread wash over him at the look in her eyes as he waited for her to speak.

"I've come to help you save Kagome – from herself, from her misconceptions... as well as the Tama."

He tilted his head, eyeing her suspiciously. "What... do you mean?"

"Just what I said. Kagome has gone to her doom, willingly for your sake, and if you don't stop her..." she trailed off, not needing to finish. Inuyasha understood.

"Dammit! I knew she was gonna do something stupid," he ranted, pissed and worried as hell. "She promised me she wouldn't! What the hell is she planning?"

Kikyou chuckled dryly. "She doesn't see what she's doing as stupid – so in her eyes, her promise to you isn't being broken by her actions. As for what she is planning to do..." Kikyou paused, and a pained look filtered across her face. "She believes, due to certain things said, and actions taken, that you are in love with me, and that she is no more to you than a friend. But because she loves you more than her own life, she wants you to have happiness – no matter what the cost." She eyed his flushed cheeks at her words. "She plans to force the jewel to grant two wishes in one – to bring me back to life for your sake – and to make the jewel disappear forever. But if she succeeds in her wish... she will be lost to wander in darkness... for eternity, with no company save Naraku – and no chance of salvation."

Inuyasha, once he took them in, was absolutely devastated at Kikyou's words. As if the thought of Kagome lost to him forever wasn't bad enough... that she truly thought he wanted Kikyou, and that he didn't love her, hurt something inside him that he'd never even known was there. And the thought that she would be trapped with _Naraku.._. there weren't even any _words_ for the horror that made him feel.

"What... what did I say and do that would make her think to _do_ something like this?" he whispered, anguish thick in his voice, distorting it.

Kikyou looked at him, eyes narrowing. "Plenty."

He looked taken aback at her answer. "What... do you mean?"

She smiled and shook her head at him. "You've always been so blind, Inuyasha," she chided. With a sigh, she moved closer, and reached out a hand to him. "Take my hand – it will be quicker for me to show you than to speak of it, and time is not something we have a great deal of."

With an uneasy look, he nodded, then almost gingerly took her hand in his. "How are you going to show me things that have happened between me 'n Kagome?" he asked, a bit uncertain.

"Is Kagome not my reincarnation? I am part of her – therefore, our soul is one. What it remembers, I remember." With that, she took his hand in hers, and began to flood his mind with all the things he'd done and said over all the time Kagome had been with him.

It was not an easy thing for him to see – and having to see it all at once made it that much more painful.

_I'm such a damn fool! _his heart cried out as visions of said foolishness drifted through his consciousness.

There it all lay before him, every instance when he made a choice between the two – and almost without fail, every time, he'd chosen Kikyou. There was only once that he had chosen Kagome, instead – the time Kagome had healed Kikyou of the miasma, and he'd actually chosen to stay with her rather than chase Kikyou down.

There was the time when he'd first chosen Kikyou, deciding to leave Kagome in the future and concentrate on protecting the undead miko... until Kagome had asked to stay by his side. He'd never had anyone that had asked him something like that, not even Kikyou. The time when Naraku had attacked Kikyou and they'd thought she was dead – then he'd heard the rumors that were actually only a trick, and gone chasing after them, practically delivering Kagome into Naraku's filthy hands.

_I almost lost her that day, _he thought, the memory still paining him, streaking his tarnished soul with guilt. _And when I saved her then, I only temporarily staved off the inevitable, because now I'm losing her to my own stupidity, _ he thought, despair eating at him.

He heard all his insults over again, and even though he'd stopped that a long time ago, gradually learning not to be so embarrassed that he was afraid to show any softness to those he cared for, still – those poisonous words had left scars on her heart – and some were still open wounds. He saw all the times he pushed her away, only to turn and moon over Kikyou. All the times he left her to run off to see the miko of his past... all of it was presented to him, then, and his shoulders almost bowed with the shame.

As surprising as it was, Kikyou was taking him to task, giving him her opinion of his behavior along with the memories.

"What I don't understand, Inuyasha, is why you treated her that way... you've loved her for a long time. I knew it even before I died..." she trailed off, her tone questioning.

He shook his head, not looking at her. "I... I don't know," he said softly. "I guess, a lot of it was guilt – about you. I didn't know how to face what I saw as a betrayal of our feelings from the past – and I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you. After everything you'd been through, to reject you..." he shrugged. "If you hadn't noticed, Kagome's changed me a lot... and where before, I wouldn't have cared about hurting someone's feelings, since nobody ever cared about hurting mine, now... I can't handle it – especially not you, Kikyou."

"So, instead, you hurt Kagome. Let me ask you this, then. Why was it okay to hurt her, but not me?"

That question went right to his heart, just like her arrow had so many, many years before.

This one hurt far worse, however.

He snapped shocked eyes up to look at her, suddenly angry at her, at himself – at everything. "Hey! It wasn't like that! I _never_ liked hurting her," he swore vehemently, "I hated it! I detest seeing her hurt in any way... but I felt like you were there first, and because of what had happened, I had to see to you first. That's all. I would never deliberately hurt Kagome just to do it. This whole situation was bad... someone was bound to get hurt, and I think we all three did, don't you?"

Kikyou nodded, a regretful expression crossing her face. "Oh, yes... but now you need to put aside your worries about hurting me... and concentrate on Kagome. If you don't, she _will_ fall into darkness." At his uneasy expression, she cast him a stern look. "You cannot hurt me any longer, Inuyasha, save by hurting Kagome. And right now, the Shikon no Tama is trying to poison her soul. I only hope you can get through to her – before it's too late."

Inuyasha frowned. "You can tell what's happening to her... right _now_?"

"Yes."

"So what's it sayin' to her?"

A deep sigh. "Half-truths. It is slanting things that happened – making it seem one way, when it was really not so."

He looked at her expectantly. "So...?"

"Your reaction at my death this time... the tears?" She continued when he nodded. "It showed her the memory of when she almost died at the hands of the poison master-" a brow rose at the scowl that crossed his face, "-and the one tear you refused to even let fall... and then compared it to the waterfalls at my death. Though it showed her strictly the truth, it slanted the reasons for that. It told her it was because you didn't really care for her much – but for me, instead."

Growling angrily, Inuyasha clenched Tessaiga's hilt as hard as he could as the pressure of the anguish inside began to rise beyond his ability to control it. "That's not...! It's _because_ she taught me how to be _able_ to grieve for someone I care about... if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have been _able_ to cry for you!"

"I know, Inuyasha. But she does not - you need to tell her that. Another thing-" she glared at him, "-and this one _is _all attributable to your big mouth – after I died, and you told her you had wanted to protect me forever? _That_ was the moment she gave up on ever having a future with you. After all, and this is how she took it, if you had protected _me_ forever, _she_ would never have been born. _That_ was the biggest screw up you've made, Inuyasha. That told her that you would rather have me with you – even at the cost of her very existence."

His mouth dropped open, and he stared at her, stunned. "B-but... that's not how I meant that! I hadn't even thought of something like that! I meant as things were... I didn't want to ever let you fall at Naraku's hands again! That's all I meant," he said softly. He looked at her dejectedly after a moment. "I've really screwed this up, haven't I?" he asked, and she nodded.

"But there is still a chance. Right now, she is fighting the Tama, and gathering her courage to make the wish she feels she needs to make for your sake. Find her... and stop what she is attempting to do. There is no leeway here, Inuyasha. You _cannot _fail," she said fiercely.

"But how do I find her?" he growled out, angry. "I've looked everywhere in this stupid endless void!"

"The path will open now that you are ready."

He nodded, and Kikyou began to fade. "Kikyou... wait! Are you... really happy?" he asked, remembering the peaceful expression on her face when she'd first appeared.

"As long as you stop Kagome from doing what she is attempting, I will be, Inuyasha. Now go, and don't grieve for me anymore. You've done enough of that already."

"Goodbye, Kikyou," he whispered as she faded completely away. "I'm glad you're happy – that's all I ever wanted for you."

He stared at the place she had disappeared for several seconds, then turned and firmly set her memory aside.

"Kagome," he shouted, "can you hear me? Don't make a wish! _Don't you dare make a wish_! Wait for me to get there!"

Frustrated, he looked around the seemingly endless void, still not seeing any difference anywhere. The darkness was uniform all around, nothing to distinguish any one part from any other, Naraku's web the only visible thing.

_What the hell did she mean that the path would open? What fucking path? I don-_

Before he could finish that thought, the Tessaiga, which he was still holding, pulsed, then pulsed again, the blade darkening, becoming the meidou Tessaiga, and he frowned down at it. _Meidou...?_

He looked back up, trying to see if there was any indication of where to use the sword – and after a moment, a crescent-shaped glimmer of light began to form before him, spreading out like a crack into the perfect darkness of the void. As it formed, the Tessaiga pulsed louder, and Inuyasha asked no further questions, firming his determination, he lifted the sword, and then swung, sending the meidou crescents into the crack of light with a shout.

As the void opened, he leaped in without hesitation, trusting Tessaiga to take him where he needed to be.

_Hold on, Kagome. I'm coming for you!_

-sSs-

"I'm not going to break, so you may was well stop."

The jewel pulsed, seemingly calm, though she could feel the irritation that it was trying to hide. "Your soul is strong – that is good. The stronger the source, the more power will be available for use – to fuel my existence."

Kagome shook her head. "You just don't get it, do you? You can't break my heart for your use – Inuyasha already did. But it wasn't his fault that he couldn't love me the way I do him, and so there's no anger in me for him – and no bitterness towards he or Kikyou."

She narrowed her eyes as she felt a certain slyness come from the jewel, then. "But is that really true, little priestess? I can sense the pain in you – and if there were no bitterness, or the potential for it, there would be no pain."

Eyes widening at that, Kagome stared at the jewel, shocked, and suddenly uncertain. _Was _there bitterness somewhere deep within herself towards the fate she was facing – a lifetime stuck with Naraku, while her broken heart remained ever in pieces?

Just because she understood that Inuyasha hadn't chosen Kikyou to hurt her, still - that didn't mean that her own heart wasn't left suffering with no way to release all the love for the hanyou that was pent up within it. Her heart and soul felt stifled, and that wasn't going to change just because she understood. After all, the knowledge that you don't choose where your heart goes, didn't just apply to Inuyasha, it also applied to her, and she couldn't change the fact that she loved him.

But did her pain equal bitterness?

Or, better yet... would it, as time went on in her own private hell?

She stared down at her hand, clenching it around her bow, then shook her head. _After all, it won't matter if bitterness does end up tainting my heart after the wish is made and the Shikon gone. And I can't say that it won't, because I don't know what will happen to me. But if my heart is still clear when I make the wish, then my fate afterwards doesn't matter._

_I'll still get what I wished for, because the Tama can't affect anything anymore once it's gone._

"There's no bitterness right now – and that's all that matters. As long as you're already gone by the time anything like that could happen to me, then it won't change anything." She nodded, almost as if to herself, eyes far away. "Being stuck with Naraku for eternity, I probably will end up twisted beyond all recognition, anyway," she sighed. "But what happens to me after you're gone doesn't matter – what I wished for will not be affected."

"I can sense your fear of that outcome, Kagome. You fear the darkness – and you fear an eternity with Naraku. Would you like a glimpse of the fate you have chosen?"

Without waiting for anything from her, a new vision opened, and Kagome couldn't stop the shudder from taking her over as fear almost drowned her in it's cold arms.

"Do you think you can avoid what you see? You cannot. If you do what you intend to do, this fate _will_ befall you. After all, for Naraku, you are the only part of Kikyou that he will ever have. And so... he will have you. Are you willing to give yourself to your enemy – to _Inuyasha's _enemy? To allow him to rape your very soul?" The tama's voice was wicked, cold and gloating as her fear spiraled ever higher. It had found her weakness – fear. Not hurt, not her broken heart. Those things she could withstand.

Her fear of what it was showing her was the way to reach her - and taint her.

Kagome's eyes were glued to what the jewel was showing her, no matter how badly she wanted to look away, she couldn't, and she wrapped her arms around herself defensively, suddenly colder than she had ever been. Her voice was frozen inside her, as well, leaving her unable to deny what she was seeing, or stop it. She couldn't even fight back...

_Powerless, and weak. Unable to defend myself – what did I expect would happen to me once Inuyasha wasn't around to protect me?_ she screamed inside her mind. _That fate would have been mine a million times over already since I fell down the well without him always saving me. I can't... _she choked as tears flooded her eyes, even as tightly closed as they were. Fear was eating at her determination...

Which was exactly what the Tama wanted.

"Can you truly make that wish you want with a heart untainted by your fear?" it taunted. "If you leave me any chance, any opening, I will taint your wish. You know this."

_I know! But I'm so scared... oh, Inuyasha, what do I do? I want you to be happy so badly... but I'm so terrified – how do I get past this fear and accept what's going to happen to me after it's all over? Because if I don't accept it, I can't make the wish! _

She let loose of her bow, not even noticing as it simply floated near her, both hands coming up to cradle her face, despair eating at her heart. A frightened sob broke from her as the images she'd seen played out in her mind over and over. No matter what happened to her from this point on, those scenes would live in her nightmares forever.

Raping the body was one thing – you could heal from that – but when it was your soul that was attacked in that way? It left you twisted beyond all recognition... destroyed. How do you accept a fate like that?

A sound almost like a chuckle came from the jewel. "What is wrong, priestess? Aren't you going to wish for that hanyou's happiness? Or is it that I have found a limit to your purity – to your love? You can't give yourself to that fate, because his happiness isn't worth everything, like you thought it was?"

_Is it right? Have I found something I'm not willing to do for his happiness? _"I... how do I know that what you're showing me is even going to happen? You twist things for your own purposes," she gasped out. "You just don't want me to make my wish."

"True." There was the feeling that if the jewel had a body, it would be shrugging. "But I do not lie to do so. I only use reality – truth. It is, after all, is much sharper and more deadly than any sword. And I enjoy causing harm to those that would think to use me. Their pain and fear soothes me – feeds me."

Kagome only cried harder, knowing somehow that it was telling the truth. There was no need for it to lie – not when truth was much more painful to its victim.

"But then... perhaps in time you will come to enjoy what he will do to you. After all, both of you are in the same place – discarded by those you cared for. He wasn't Inuyasha, and therefore not good enough for Kikyou, and you weren't Kikyou, and therefore not good enough for Inuyasha. You understand his pain, as he could understand yours. Why, then, do you fear?"

"No!" She cried out, overwhelmed. "That-" she gestured wildly at the vision still playing before them, "-isn't understanding! It's domination – he's only trying to destroy me – to break me further!"

"Ah... but then, in order to become one with him, you would have to be as broken as he is," the tama whispered to her, and her eyes widened as she inhaled, shocked. Stillness flooded her soul and the void around her as she thought about his words...

She knew what the tama was _trying _to do – play on her fear and disgust to force her to make some other wish – one that _it_ wanted.

But in that statement, it had just overplayed its hand.

For it was right – Onigumo had been broken by his love for the priestess Kikyou. That's what had allowed madness to take over, and how he had been born as Naraku – by inviting demons in to take over his soul... in hopes that he could then be with her. And even his desired wish of the tama had been to be with Kikyou – a most modest wish, as she'd thought before, and one that hadn't been granted.

When the jewel pointed that out, it helped to diminish her fear... leaving compassion in its wake. Oh, there was still some fear in her... but not enough for the tama to use. Instead, she could only imagine his own pain and sadness due to his rejected feelings, and found that it echoed in perfect resonance with that which was within her.

The only difference between them, is in how they had reacted to that rejection. Naraku had allowed rage and hatred in in its place, while Kagome had only stepped back, wishing for Inuyasha's happiness above all else.

And oddly enough, from what she had seen in the vision the tama had shown her, was that, as much as Naraku had wanted Kikyou, he in no way mistook _her_ for the dead miko – he knew full well that she was Kagome. To the broken-hearted, weary, and frightened young woman, that thought was almost balm to her soul.

_If that's to be my fate, then at least, he will know who it is that he's tormenting. I'll never be mistaken for Kikyou again, _she thought, with a tired sigh.

For some reason, a certain memory flashed into her mind... though why she remembered it, she couldn't say. A memory of Naraku, at the final battle... he'd looked so defeated – when she'd spoken to him about his wish, and his feelings. And so tired. It had an odd effect on her now...

Looking up at the manifestation of the jewel that had ruined so many lives, Kagome took in a deep breath, and grabbing all her courage, she pushed away all the fear, allowing only compassion for Naraku, love for Inuyasha, and caring for Kikyou through. Letting it stream out of her in an almost visible display, she let all the negatives go, and said, "Shikon no Tama, I'm ready to make my wish. I wi-"

"-gome! Can you hear me? Don't make a wish! _Don't you dare make a wish_! Wait for me to get there!"

Kagome's voice cut off in a shocked huff as she heard Inuyasha, stunned into immobility, all she could do was stare into the void, eyes wide. _Inu..?_

She flung up a hand to cover her face, then, eyes clenching closed tightly as a flash of light burst into the darkness surrounding her – though the tama carried its own light, it was soft, barely touching the blackness. This other light was like lightening – powerful. As soon as it faded, Kagome dropped her hand, staring at what the light had brought...

Tears welled up in overwhelmed eyes. "Inuyasha?" she choked out.

_Is it really him, or just an illusion?_

-sSs-

Inuyasha knew, as soon as he came through the meidou, that he'd interrupted her just in time – somehow. He didn't question his knowledge, he just accepted it... and swallowed the frightened lump in his throat as he realized how close he'd just come to losing her forever.

Without a thought to what he was doing, he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, wrapping himself around her. It wasn't enough, though, to fill the hole he felt at the thought of her being gone, and with desperation plain in his actions and expression, he lowered his head and clamped his mouth to hers.

_Oh... it's not an illusion – it's really Inuyasha..._

_Kagome..._

For Inuyasha, the kiss that he'd been wanting for so long was finally happening, and he didn't care if he never took another breath as long as he could stay right where he was forever. She tasted more wonderful than anything he'd ever known, and in one instant, he was addicted. She would forever be the only thing that he couldn't do without... now he just had to figure out how to convince her of that.

For Kagome, it was more pain than she'd ever felt – and more joy than she'd ever known, all at the same time. Pain because she believed it wasn't really for her, and it would be the last one – and joy because she'd at least have this to remember when eternity swallowed her.

The thought that it was going to end cut into her so much that she almost folded over with grief – she would have if it weren't for Inuyasha holding to her so tightly.

_Kami... how can I say goodbye? I wanted this kiss... but now I wonder... it would have been better if he hadn't arrived when he did. After all, if it had only been a few seconds later, it would have been done. _

_Now... now he's going to argue. Please don't, Inuyasha – don't argue. Just kiss me goodbye, and let me go..._

She almost sobbed when he finally pulled away. Licking her lips, a few tears overflowed as she tried to memorize his taste, the way he'd stroked her tongue with his, so passionately, so desperately, as though he had really wanted her. She didn't want to ever forget any part of that kiss...

Looking up, she caught his gaze on her, and flushed.

"What the hell are you thinking, Kagome?" he gritted fiercely. "Didn't I tell you that if you go, I go? I won't let anyone take you away from me – _not even you_!"

Kagome choked on a sob. "No... I remember every word you've ever said to me, Inuyasha. It's all inside my head. But I also know..." she trailed off with a tired sigh.

"What do you think you know, Kagome? Is it some of that bullshit the stupid jewel was trying to put in your head?" He stepped back a bit and sheathed Tessaiga, then grabbed her by both arms, staring into her eyes with an intensity she'd rarely seen in him. "Or was it some of the shit that _you've_ put in your head?"

Eyeing him, she started to say something, then noticed the jewel, and frowned, wondering why it was being so silent. It had certainly chattered enough before...

She stared at it narrowly for a moment, but then Inuyasha shook her a little, and yanked her attention back to him.

"Well, wench? Start talking! I know some of the things it was sayin' to you – but what I want to know is, why the hell were you listening to it?"

Blinking at him, she asked, "How... how do you know what it was saying to me?"

His grip on her arms loosened at that, and he sighed. "When you disappeared into the meidou, I created another one and followed. I got attacked by a bunch of youkai... and saw Midoriko fighting some, too. Those youkai... they told me some things that I... didn't like." His hands squeezed her arms lightly as they clenched. "They said you were born to fight in the jewel forever, just like Midoriko. That pissed me off, and I yelled at them, then destroyed them..." he trailed off, still not looking at her.

Kagome narrowed her eyes on him. _He's reluctant to say something... _"What happened, Inuyasha?" she asked, expression set. _If he doesn't want to tell me, it's probably something to do with..._

_Kikyou._

"I saw Kikyou. She looked happier than I'd ever seen her... peaceful, you know?" he said, turning his head to look off into the darkness when she stiffened. "But then, she told me why she was there-" he jerked his head back to look at her with a frown, beginning to growl, "-and what you were planning to do. I ain't gonna let you do something so damn _stupid_, wench!"

She laughed, though it wasn't in amusement, the sound empty. "Why not, Inuyasha? You love her... and this will give you both the chance to live as you would have if the Tama and Naraku had never interfered. I accept the consequences of my wish."

He yanked her back into his arms, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe for several long seconds, then pushed her away, staring at her with angry eyes. "But _I_ don't, stupid! I _don't _accept the consequences! You have no right to take my choice away from me – if I had wanted to be with Kikyou, I could have gone with her to the afterlife like we had at one time planned. But I don't want to do that, because I want to stay here with you, and Kikyou knew that!"

Kagome twisted away from him, turning to look off in the opposite direction, shaking her head wearily. "Only because you have this rather deep sense of responsibility towards me. You feel like you need to protect me-" she sighed, "-but you can't save me from what's going to happen to me now," she said softly.

Something in her words had his hackles rising, and he grabbed onto her, forcing her to turn and look at him. "What the hell does that mean, Kagome? What's going to happen to you now? How do you even know what that is?"

She refused to actually meet his eyes. "The tama was kind enough to show me my fate," she said, sarcasm literally coating her words. And then she slumped a bit, as the drain of the last few days finally overwhelmed her, leaving her empty. "Please, Inuyasha... I'm so tired of hurting. I'm just _tired._ Let me go, take the happiness I'm offering you with Kikyou. Let me finish this."

"_No_," he roared, stunning her. "Have you really gotten so blind that you can't see what's right in front of you? I thought you were smarter than that! All that shit the tama showed you? It was all crap! You wanna know why I couldn't cry a whole lot when you almost died, even though I felt like someone had ripped my soul out? _ Because I didn't know how_! The only reason I grieved so much for Kikyou, is because _you taught me how,_ not because I loved her more! I couldn't even cry that much for my mother – and I definitely loved _her_!"

Kagome blinked at him, a little shocked at the ferocity of his response. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but he wouldn't allow it.

"And another thing! When I said I wanted to protect her forever? The way you took it was _not _how I meant it! I just..." his voice went soft for a moment, "... hated the thought that Naraku was the one that took her life - again - whatever life she really had. I wanted to protect her from his _grasp_ forever, so that he would never be able to hurt her again, that's all I meant! Not that I wanted to be with her forever, leaving you out in the cold." He shrugged guiltily as she stared at him, obviously surprised. "Kikyou took me to task for my big freakin' mouth, always saying crap the wrong way. It never even occurred to me you'd think what you did."

A pulse of power came, then, the first in some time, as the tama once again made itself known. "And what of your time inside Naraku after you pushed Kagome away? The only thing on your mind was Kikyou... Kagome's fate didn't even play into your thoughts." The voice became sly. "I showed Kagome that part of the past... she saw with her own eyes, and heard with her own ears."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed with hate as he glared at the jewel before him, wanting nothing so much as to see it gone from the world forever. "Shut up, you stupid fuckin' worthless piece of crap!" he snarled. "You showed her lies!"

"No... the tama doesn't lie, Inuyasha," Kagome whispered. "It doesn't lie because it enjoys using the truth to cause harm." She looked down at her own hands as they tightened into tiny fists, then opened again, leaving deep crescents in her skin.

"Okay then," he shot back, "just how much did it show you? Did it show you my memory of you returning – the memories _it_ had tried to take from me, and my panic and fear when I realized that I didn't know where you were? The horror when I realized your blood was on my hands... and the shock when Naraku told me I'd killed you?" He clenched his hand over his heart, still smelling her blood on him... little trapped particles under his claws since they'd not had a chance to stop and bathe along the way. It hurt to know he'd injured her... and the dried blood still staining her sleeve condemned him even more.

"I... I denied it, you know. For the first time, I knew that I couldn't have killed you – not even my youkai side, so bloodthirsty and angry, could kill you, and somehow, I _knew_ it."

Kagome stared at him, spellbound, as he pulled his hand from his chest and stared at it. "No matter what, these hands will never be able to take your life, Kagome. Ever."

"Inuyasha," she whispered, voice caught in a closed throat. He looked up at her, then, such a look of longing in his eyes that she was stunned. _Is he...? Could he really be looking at __me__ that way? Or is it just that he's looking through me... to Kikyou?_

He looked down, his hand falling back to his side. "Why do you keep insisting that I'm in love with Kikyou - _now_?" he asked softly. "I won't deny I was once... but that was a long time ago. That was the past, and contrary to popular opinion-" he rolled his eyes as he glanced up at her, "-I _do_ know that the past is the _past_. I don't want you to bring Kikyou back... and after talking to her, she doesn't want to come back, either. It's her choice to stay where she is, and she's happy and peaceful sleeping inside of you, where she's supposed to be. Are you going to take _her _choice away? Force her to do something she doesn't want?"

Kagome stared at him, suddenly uncertain about everything she'd been planning. She'd never thought of that. _Did_ she have the right to change things so drastically by bringing Kikyou back... if the dead woman didn't even want to be brought back in the first place? "I..." she started, then paused, confused. _How can I do that? I'm not the fates, or the kami... and it's not my right to take away someone elses choice. I just always thought she'd be happy to be given another chance... but then... what about Inuyasha?_

"You... you're happy with that? That she doesn't want to be brought back?" she asked disbelievingly.

His sighed, and shook his head at her, irritation plain in his gaze. "Kagome, stop being so dense! I don't want Kikyou to do anything she doesn't want to do. And even if she _did_ want to come back, things wouldn't be the same, because I don't want to be with her that way anymore. We'd only ever be friends. Why can't you understand that?"

The tama pulsed again, light pouring off of it. "If your wish is no longer valid, priestess, then what will you wish for?"

Inuyasha shot it a sour glance, gritting his teeth. "Ya know, Kagome, why don't you make the _right _wish right now... and we can talk about this whole mess later – once that stupid thing is gone?"

Kagome looked down at her bow, still floating near her, and took in in her hand almost absently as she thought about it. _I have to be sure... because if I don't bring Kikyou back now, I never can. Is he __really __telling me the truth, and not just what he thinks I need to hear? _Looking back up at him, she locked eyes with him, and said, "Tell me again, Inuyasha... I need to be sure that I'm doing the right thing. You _truly_ don't want Kikyou back? What about your plans to marry?" She winced as she said that – it was one thing to think about it, and another to verbalize such a painful thing.

He growled at her, and grabbed her by the arms again, shaking her a bit. "How many times do I have to say it? Didn't that kiss tell you _anything_?" he asked, exasperated with her stubbornness.

She shook her head sadly. "I don't think my heart knows how to understand things like that anymore, Inuyasha," she whispered, still staring him in the eyes.

"Stupid girl," he whispered back. "I think your heart understands fine – it's just your head that ain't listenin'. Make the wish that will make us _all_ happy – by getting rid of that nasty piece of crap forever. I've got a lot of plans, and I can't get to any of them until that thing is _gone_."

She held his gaze for several long moments, searching for the honesty in them... and she found it. _He really, truly, doesn't want Kikyou to come back. _Tears of relief began to pour down her cheeks, and a lightness of spirit she hadn't felt in months hit her, leaving her almost giddy. _My fate... it's my own again! I don't have to spend eternity with Naraku in darkness. _She sobbed, dropping her face into her hands for a few seconds as she let the fear and the pain out, draining weeks of poison from her heart.

Inuyasha was patient with her, letting her cry it out for a bit, but he was thankful when the tears began to wind down, and when she finally looked up, he smiled at her. "Feel better now?" he asked softly. She'd always felt better after a good cry, and he knew it, though he hated to see her do so.

"Y-yeah. I really do," she said, smiling a little. "I think... I'm ready to make that wish, now."

"You know what the right wish is, don't you?"

She nodded. "Sure." She turned as Inuyasha pulled her protectively into his side and faced the jewel one last time. She could feel the waves of discontent coming from it – it knew that it had failed to taint her, and that its time in their world was done.

Still, it had no choice but to grant her wish, whatever it was.

"Shikon no Tama, I'm going to make my wish now. I want you to disappear... forever."

With one last powerful, but forlorn pulse, the Tama admitted defeat to Kagome, and exploded into nothingness...

Allowing Midoriko, the youkai, and Naraku free, so that they could finally find their rest.

_It's over..._

-sSs-

Inuyasha stepped up to the Goshinboku, stared up into its canopy, and sighed. Putting out a hand, he gently touched the spot he'd been pinned to for so long, then leaned his head against his hand, and closed his eyes, sad and weary. The only thing keeping him alive at this point was his trust in Kikyou's words – that Kagome had been born for him. He'd remembered those words... after the jewel was gone.

It had been three long, desperate years, though, and he was losing hope. After making the wish, he and Kagome found themselves back in the well, in her time, and after she jumped from his arms to run to her mother with muffled sobs, he'd found himself being pulled back in, and deposited back in his own era.

Alone.

Without _her_.

Since then, he'd tried the well every three days... and it hadn't worked. He had no doubts that she'd tried it on her end, too... but since she'd never appeared, he knew that the well was simply refusing passage to anyone. The stupid thing was that the magic was still there – he could feel it.

It just refused to respond.

All the things he'd told her he had planned, had fallen by the wayside, since those plans had all revolved around her, and without her, he had nothing, not even a life.

He certainly felt dead enough inside to support that thought.

His fist tightened with anguish. "Why!" he yelled suddenly, pulling away from the great tree and throwing his head back to howl his words to the uncaring sky. "Why am I still here, still alive – but without the one thing I need to actually _live_? Do all you kami find it funny to condemn me to this half-dead state? Why not just let it be _all_ dead?" Sinking down onto his knees, he folded up into a ball, and just lay there, miserable.

Sure, he'd told Kaede that he'd felt like he had to leave Kagome there in her time, since he wasn't the only one who cared for her, but for kami's sake! Didn't all children grow up and leave their families at some point – to start ones of their own?

Why couldn't he have that? Why couldn't he have that... with _her? _Was he really supposed to spend the rest of his damned long life, alone?

His heart sank, then, as he realized that she wouldn't live as long as he, anyway... but he decided he wouldn't care about that if she were to come back to be with him. He'd stay hanyou, protecting her until she died... and then he'd follow her. They'd certainly live long enough to make sure any children they had were grown and able to care for themselves before passing, and that's all that counted, anyway.

He really didn't care where they were, as long as they were together. Dead, alive... it just didn't matter.

He was still laying there when Miroku came looking for him, intent on dragging him back to the village.

It was a good thing he had friends to help him through and that he remembered Kikyou's words from in the meidou, because if he hadn't, he'd probably have fallen on Tessaiga the day she was taken from him.

If he had, he would have missed out on a wonderful life...

-sSs-

_I can't believe school's actually... over._

Kagome wandered around the shrine courtyard, feeling restless and unhappy. It had been two days since her graduation, and she was now a legal adult – eighteen and finished with school. She'd opted not to apply to a college, instead feeling as though she didn't belong anymore – as though her fate lay elsewhere.

She knew where she wanted it to lay.

_I miss Inuyasha..._

With that thought, her feet took her to the well-house, and she slid open the door, taking note of the layer of dust that lay over everything...

_It's been so long since I tried it. _Moving forward, stepping down the stairs, she walked up to the edge, and stared at it, her thoughts sad. _So many times I jumped through, taking for granted that it would always work... and then it took Inuyasha away, and stopped. Yet... I can still feel the magic in it. _

She sighed. _For so long, I was to frightened to return, too. Afraid that the things that Inuyasha said in the jewel were not what I thought. That I had misread things. But now... none of that even matters – because I would go back even if he just wanted to be friends. Because I... I want to see him again._

_After all, everything I needed to do here is done. I've honored my family, and now, my life is my own to do with what I want. What I've learned in these three years, is that I need Inuyasha... in any capacity._

She reached out a hand and laid it on the edge of the well, gripping it gently and closing her eyes.

_What I want is... to be with Inuyasha again._

A faint breeze touched her bangs, and a scent that she hadn't caught in three long, weary years... dust and grasses, and flowers – the scent of the meadow surrounding the well... in Inuyasha's time, filtered through the dust scent from the wellhouse. Heart in her throat, and breath caught somewhere close to it, she leaned over slowly, not opening her eyes 'til she was leaned over it completely...

What greeted her had her clenching both hands to the lip of the well with unfettered hope.

_The sky..._

"Kagome?"

She half turned to look at her mother, a look of wonder still on her face. "Mama... the well..."

Her mother stepped down to her side, looking down into it. She sighed, then met her daughter's gaze. "Kagome... it's okay." She squared her shoulders, and smiled at her. "I always knew... that someday, you'd go back. Your heart is there. You're grown, and now it's time to live the life you want. You've certainly earned it."

Kagome's eyes filled with sad, yet happy tears, _such an odd thing, _she thought, and she hugged her mother. "Thank you, mama. I love you, and I'll miss you... please, tell grandpa and Sota that I love them, too." She let go, then, and stepped back, storing the memory of her mother's touch in her memory alongside her smiling face, and then climbed up onto the lip of the well in her era for the last time.

With one last wave of her hand, she pushed off...

And vanished into history, to finally find her fate.

-sSs-

Inuyasha would never forget the day that Kagome returned.

It started out dismal and forlorn, just like all the one thousand and ninety-five days before it... and then, in the blink of an eye, _everything _changed.

He caught her scent first, that lovely, unmistakable scent that had haunted him for all the time he'd known her, and even more so after she'd vanished from his life. At first, he'd thought he was smelling things – that his mind had finally gone... but then the breeze brushed past him, and instead of getting fainter, the scent only got stronger – and it was coming from the well clearing.

Instantly, he was up and gone, completely forgetting everyone else in his rush to get to the source of that beautiful, _life-giving_ scent. He hadn't moved so fast since she'd disappeared, and the entire time he ran, he prayed to every kami he knew the name of that she really was back.

Heart pounding, he skidded to a halt before the well, almost missing the sound of breathing coming from inside it because his own breathing was so loud. Thrusting a hand into the dark interior, he _begged_ the kami in that moment, praying just not being enough to encompass the sheer emotion welling up inside him.

Her hand grabbing his ripped a gasp from him, and he pulled her out of that well with all the longing in his soul visible in his eyes.

_Oh, gods, Kagome... it's really you! _

The yearning expression that settled on his face was beautiful, and with tears rimming her eyes, she smiled down at him, a matching look of sweet longing on her face.

"Inuyasha... I'm so sorry – were you waiting for me?"

_Stupid girl! Of course I've been waiting! _"Kagome," he breathed, adoration, exultation, and sheer _want _engraved in his eyes. "You idiot! What have you been up to?" _Smooth, baka. She's been gone for three years, and that's all you can say? _Shaking his head, he pulled her into his arms, determined to never let her go again, almost afraid that if he blinked, she'd disappear.

When their friends finally made it to the clearing, he had to fight himself to let her loose, his determination not to let her go, he found, just a tad bit over the top, and not really possible to keep to.

She would definitely not be leaving his sight for a long time to come, though, and on _that_ he _wasn't_ willing to compromise.

-sSs-

Night had finally fallen, and for the first time that day, Inuyasha felt calm, and at peace.

He and Kagome were perched high in the Goshinboku, staring out at the lands around them, and the stars above them.

It was quiet for a time, both just enjoying the sense of homecoming, and then...

"So... those plans you told me about when we were inside the jewel? The ones you said you had... did you ever do anything about them?" Kagome asked, curious. They'd never had the chance for that talk he'd wanted to have, and even though three years had passed since then, she figured they still needed to say some things from back then to finish it.

He didn't even pretend not to know what she was talking about. "Keh, no. How was I supposed to do that with you gone?" he scoffed. "Since those plans were all dependent on you, ya know."

She flushed a little. "Oh?"

With a sigh, he shifted a bit, settling her against his chest a little more comfortably, then wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I guess we still need to have that talk, don't we? We never got the chance..." his voice trailed off, reluctant as he was to even think about those endless-seeming days that she was gone. "How much of that do you remember?"

With a catch in her voice, she said, "Everything." She turned her head and looked up into his face. It was dark enough that she really couldn't see too much except his eyes. It didn't matter, though. They were enough. "I've never forgotten any of it – nothing about my time with you, the things you said and did. I remember it all. I think I told you that before, silly," she murmured affectionately.

"Yeah," he chuckled, his voice sounding a little strange. "Funny thing about that... I remember it all, too. Never wanted to forget any of it – especially if memories were all I was gonna be left with."

She reached a hand up and cupped his cheek tenderly. "I missed you _so much_, Inuyasha. Every day, all I wanted was to see you again. I never stopped wishing that I would, you know."

His eyes closed, emotion welling up inside him so fast he didn't know how to handle it, and almost choked. Drawing in a deep breath, he calmed himself, and then opened his eyes and looked down at her.

"Have you finally accepted that I didn't want Kikyou back – that I just wanted her to have peace?" he asked bluntly. It had to be finished – that past had to be laid to rest, or they would never be able to be together the way he wanted – the way he hoped _she_ still wanted.

Kagome jerked slightly, her hand dropping from his cheek, startled at the blunt way he'd asked that question. "I..." she trailed off, too surprised to know what to say.

"Oh, for the love of kami, Kagome, don't tell me you're _still _hung up on that old mess? What more can I do to get it through your head that I don't love Kikyou that way anymore, that I _haven't_ in years? That _you_ are the one I love?"

With a gasp, Kagome twisted around to stare into his face fully, eyes as wide as he'd ever seen them. "You... Inuyasha," she breathed, "you've... never said that before. _Ever." _ There was wonder in her voice, and Inuyasha flinched at that.

"Aw, hell... c'mon, Kagome! You can't tell me you didn't know that! Everyone else did – including Naraku - and my ass of a brother."

Brow furrowed, she sent him a confused glance. "Naraku? How did he know?"

"Damned if I know," he grumbled. "But when we were inside him, after I remembered you in defiance of the jewel, Naraku came and gloated about how I had killed my 'beloved woman'. His words, not mine – though they were true, anyway," he finished, disgruntled, flushing.

She blinked at him, stunned.

"Gods, Kagome, you've got to be the most oblivious woman in existence," he burst out when she just continued to stare at him. "What more did you want me to do to prove it?"

She shook her head, trying to clear it of the shock. "Maybe if you had _told_ me, Inuyasha. After all, you told me that Kikyou told you off about your habit of saying things the wrong way and giving the wrong impression. What did you expect with the things you said to me? The things you did?"

He looked away at that, oddly ashamed as he remembered all the horrible things he'd said to her over the years. "I've got a lot to make up for," he finally said. "So _many_ things I did and said that were the height of stupidity."

He turned his face back to her, after a moment, with a firmness she had never seen from him before. "I'm making it up starting now. Listen, and listen well, Kagome. I don't want Kikyou – that ship sailed a long time ago, and I don't even miss it. I love _you_, and have for a _damn_ long time – what seems like _forever_. I told you once that if you go, I go, and I meant that. From now until forever, I will never be apart from you, even if all you want me as is a friend."

Speechless as she heard the words she'd been wanting to hear for what seemed like forever, all she could do was cry. Throwing herself against his chest with abandon, she held on to his suikan with a death grip, sobbing as she tried to get words out.

"Inuyasha," she gulped, "Inuyasha." _Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha, _her mind screamed, as she tried to force her voice past the obstruction in her throat. "I'm gonna love you forever, Inuyasha! 'Friends' isn't enough for me," she cried, a deep euphoria spreading through her entire shell-shocked system. _Oh, please, please, please, mean what I think you mean!_

He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her so close she was almost inside his skin with him, and just inhaled her beloved scent madly, so much joy flooding his system he literally didn't know what to do with it. He'd never been so happy before - it was unknown territory.

"Kagome," he murmured, rocking her gently back and forth comfortingly. _My beautiful Kagome. I've finally got everything I've ever wanted right here in my arms, and I'm going to keep you here forever. _"Marry me?" he asked, for the first time in his life confident about something other than his survival skills – at this moment, he had no fear that she would turn him away.

Frantic nodding was his answer, along with a fresh round of sobs, and he chuckled. _Same old Kagome, always crying at the drop of a hat. But at least I know these are happy tears..._

"Silly wench... you'll never change," he said, affection rife in his voice. "Always with the tears."

She laughed a little through those tears, punching his shoulder softly. "Jerk."

He grinned, then his face softened as he tilted her face up to look at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again, shaking his head, he just continued to look at her.

She licked her lips, then, a thought occurring to her. "Inuyasha," she whispered, "kiss me... kiss me hello."

Eyes sparking with fire, the hanyou did just that, leaning down to capture her lips, pouring every bit of his heart and soul into their third kiss. And the best part was that Kagome reciprocated with everything she was, too... leaving no doubt in either of their minds of the feelings of their partner.

Tilting his head to the side just a bit, he ran his tongue along her pouty bottom lip, and she opened to him on a gasp, letting him in to taste every corner of her mouth. Hotly, sweetly, he twined his own appendage with hers, stroking it softly, lovingly.

_She tastes so wonderful... _

Kagome let him take everything he seemed to need from her, and reveled in the giving, her Inuyasha-starved heart singing within her at the way he tasted and felt moving against her tongue the way he was.

It was perfect... a perfect hello.

Finally, needing to breathe, he pulled away, happy to note the drying tears, and swept her bangs away from her eyes. "How was that?" he asked, a soft look in his eyes that she had rarely seen. She smiled at him, then laid her head against his chest.

Snuggling further into him, she sighed deeply, contentedly, and rubbed her cheek against him. "Wonderful." She smiled wider when he tugged his claws through her hair. "That feels so good," she said drowsily, the long, emotional day finally catching up with her as she yawned.

Inuyasha looked down at her, contentment pouring through him as well as he watched her eyes flutter closed. "Sleep, itoshii," he said softly, and smiled at the smile that touched her mouth.

"Mmm... 'Yasha," she mumbled. The tears took their toll on her as she succumbed to sleep, a peaceful, happy look on her face for the first time in three years.

The silver-haired hanyou, however, didn't sleep a wink that night.

He stayed awake, fine-tuning those plans he'd been so keen on three years ago. After all, this time, he could actually finalize them.

_My Kagome. My... wife._

-sSs-

One hundred years later, Shippo sighed, gentle melancholy flooding his system as he stared at the newly finished shrine housed in the well clearing.

_I hope you two are as happy together in death as you were in life, _he thought, glancing over at the young man next to him. _We've all missed you guys so much these last twelve years since you passed on..._

"Do you think they'd have liked this idea?" the silver-haired male asked, and Shippo nodded.

"Sure... enclosed in this shrine, their remains will never be tampered with like Kikyou's were – I made sure of that," he said firmly. "This way, they won't be separated ever again – even in death."

They were silent for a time, and then Shippo spoke once more. "C'mon, Hiroshi, let's get back to your uncle. You know he hates waiting."

Hiroshi nodded, then took one last look at the shrine that housed his parent's remains. _Rest in peace, 'kaa-san, 'tou-san. I miss you..._

With a bittersweet smile, the hanyou turned and followed Shippo from the shrine.

-sSs-

A/N: And it is the end. Some ppl are probably gonna fuss about wanting more details of the wedding and all... but I personally like the way I ended this, and don't feel the need to change it. I think there's enough details to go on with – besides, the wedding wasn't so important in this story, so much as the knowledge that there _was_ one. Lots of angst, some psychological battering, and a great deal of love later, and the two got their happy ending.

_That's_ the important part.

Amber


End file.
